How to Push Your Daughter to Be Independent

If you have a daughter, you want her to be successful in life and know how to take care of herself. Often, parents do so much for their children they are unable to make the smallest decisions on their own. You can nudge your daughter along to be more independent by allowing her to make choices and giving her responsibilities early. By guiding your daughter in this way you will raise a well-rounded child who will work toward her own success.

Instructions

Young Children

1. Give your child specific tasks to complete. Draw a picture of each step that is needed to finish the task and post the picture in a visible location so your child will be able to follow it. Break down each task into simple steps that she can follow.

2. Offer your daughter choices when giving her chores. Ask her if she would rather take out the trash or fold the clothes. By giving her choices you are making her choose between the two so that she completes at least one task.

3. Encourage your daughter each time she tries something new. Praise her even if something is not done right. Give her praise for trying to do the task on her own.

4. Emphasize the importance of school. Explain that school should be a priority and she should do her homework and study before she does anything else after school. Reward her for good grades.

5. Live by example. Let your daughter see you caring for yourself. Join a gym and work hard. Practice what you preach and she will follow by example.

6. Sign your daughter up for team sports. Teamwork will encourage her to communicate effectively. Never force her to take part in something that she does not want to do, but don't allow her to quit something she has started.

7. Show your affection to let her know that she is special. She will work harder to gain your acceptance.

Young Adults

1. Offer advice when she requests it. Allow her to make her own mistakes unless it is something that could cause her harm. By allowing her to choose you are showing your trust.

2. Include her in family decisions and activities. This is especially important with daughters who have gone away to college. Let her know that she is still an important part of the family even though she is independent.

3. Share stories of your own mistakes and first acts of independence. Let her know that it is OK to make mistakes.

4. Give her space. Praise her for making decisions that are successful. Let her know that you are proud of her.

5. Communicate with her without judging. This will make her more receptive to asking for your advice in the future.

References

• Vanderbilt University; Teaching Your Child to Become Independent with Daily Routines;
• India Study Channel; How to Raise a Young Achiever in Your Child; Nikhil kalta; March 2011
• Family Education: Parenting a Young Adult