How to Help Grievers on Holidays
According to Peace 4 the Grieving, many grievers wish time would jump from October to mid-January so they could miss all the holiday traditions that are not the same without their loved one. The Grief Recovery Institute states that the first holiday season after a close loved one dies is often the hardest and offers suggestions on how to help someone cope and talk about grief during this rough period.
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Instructions
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Be there for the griever, even if it is just to listen her cry and hug her while she repeatedly tells you the story of how her husband died. Listen patiently and respond with care, as this shows your friend that you care as she struggles with the reality of what happened.
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Talk about the deceased, as most grievers feel isolated that their friends and family will not talk about the very topic weighing on their hearts. The Grief Recovery Institute suggests saying a simple statement, such as, "I heard about the death in your family. I can't imagine what this has been like for you." This allows the griever to open up without fear of judgment.
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Offer to host the holidays so the griever has a place to attend if he chooses to, without the pressure of hosting the holiday himself as following previous traditions may be too heartbreaking. This option allows the griever to have control of his participation in holiday events, as well as gives him the option to create new traditions with close friends and families.
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Offer to help Christmas shop for other family members or prepare any holiday dishes. Be specific in your offers because if you just tell the griever to call you if she needs any help or support over the holidays, she probably will not respond to an open-ended offer like that.
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Honor the deceased on the holidays by offering a toast to all the family members and friends who have died, which may prompt the griever to share a story and toast about his loved one.
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References
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