How to Deal With Uninvited Wedding Guests

If guests bring uninvited dates or children, be nice.

A few strangers who appear in the back rows of your ceremony isn't a big deal, but uninvited guests who crash your reception throws off your plans. Address your invitations so it's clear who's invited. Write out the names of the guests in the address line rather than writing "The Jones Family" because this may lead guests to think their children are invited. Don't hesitate to remove strangers from your reception, as these guests may walk off with your gifts or get drunk and rude at your open bar.

Instructions

1. Be gracious and polite to any children or dates that guests bring along. Don't show any irritation or anger at the situation. Smile and say something like, "Emily! I didn't realize you were coming. Look how pretty you look!" Getting upset about the situation can ruin your wedding day.

2. Ask the vendors to set up extra chairs and place settings for the unexpected guests. Bring in high chairs for small children. Tell the caterers that they need to prepare extra entrees.

3. Appoint a close friend or family member to keep an eye out for people who don't belong. Strangers who crash a wedding may stick around the bar or buffet rather than talking to other guests.

4. Ask your friend who's acting as a look-out to check with you and your husband and both sets of your parents if he spots someone suspicious, because your new spouse or parents may have invited a guest you don't know. Tell your look-out whether the person is an invited guest or needs to be removed.

5. Tell your wedding planner or a security officer at your reception that you have an intruder. Ask her to quietly and politely pull the intruder out of the earshot of other guests and escort him out of the reception.

Tips & Warnings

• Set up your gift table inside your reception and far away from the doors. Strangers walking by won't be able to duck in and steal gifts if they're kept far from the entrance.

• If you suspect some of your guests are going to bring their children or uninvited dates, order additional chairs, place settings and food from your vendors so no one will have to scramble to accommodate these people at the last minute.

• It's not polite to ask guests to present their invitations as they walk in the door or check them off a security list.

• If you have any enemies or other people who you are afraid will crash your wedding with the intention of causing a scene, hire a security officer to stand at the door to the reception. Give him a photo of anyone you suspect will crash so he can turn her away.

References

• The Knot; Wedding Guests: How to Deal With Wedding Crashers; Stephanie Emma Pfeffer; December 2009
• Martha Stewart Weddings; Reception 101: Party Protocol; 2009