How to Make Small Talk With Women

Effective small talk takes practice.

Making small talk is a skill that requires practice. When you see someone make small talk effortlessly, it might be because they are naturally gifted at talking to others, but it is just as likely that they have worked to become better at small talk. Regardless of how difficult you find small talk, or how uncomfortable you are when trying to engage women in small talk, it is possible to improve. Put yourself in plenty of situations to practice your skills and soon you will be more comfortable engaging in small talk with women.

Instructions

1. Know what you are going to say. It is important to have something to say besides your name or the conversation will falter quickly. It can be a compliment on her outfit or a comment about the reason you are both at the same party or restaurant. Just be sure you have a follow up to saying hello.

2. Avoid comments that can be inflammatory. It is generally a good idea to steer clear of comments about religion, politics, finances and negative issues, such as unemployment and terrorism.

3. Look approachable. Make eye contact with the woman as you speak, and smile when you pause during the conversation. Don't get too close during the conversation to avoid making the woman uncomfortable.

4. Listen to what she says. The key to successful small talk is to keep it going. Listening to what the woman says helps you formulate a response.

5. Follow up with questions that show your interest. If you aren't able to come up with a follow-up statement, simply ask her to expand on what she has said with questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Asking yes or no questions allows the conversation to die.

6. Wrap up the conversation while it is still going strong. Rather than let the conversation trickle to uncomfortable silence, stop while you are both enjoying yourself, tell the woman you really enjoyed talking with her and look forward to speaking with her again. This is the time to ask for her phone number or make arrangements to meet again if you like.

References

• Indiana University, Southeast: The Anatomy of Successful Small Talk*: A Step-by-Step Guide on How to be a Successful Schmoozer
• University of Oklahoma; Mastering the Art of Small Talk; Don Gabor