How to Evaluate Teen's Behavior

It is common for teenagers to not listen to their parents at times.

Understanding and evaluating a teenager's behaviors can be challenging for any parent. Teenagers are notorious for crossing the line, pushing limits and craving independence beyond their years. This can be disheartening for parents who want to see their child succeed and be the best possible person. Learning how to evaluate a teenager's behaviors can help to better discipline them, and it will help your teenager learn about responsibility and consequences.

Instructions

1. Determine if your teenager's behavior is a one-time incident or is indicative of a pattern of more problematic behaviors. Some teenagers will cave into peer pressure once or twice and learn their lesson, whereas other teens may continue with a pattern of negative behaviors that gradually become worse.

2. Write down all the incidents of negative behaviors your teenager had in the prior two weeks. You may want to go back a month for a better measure. Look for a pattern or a behavior that stands out, such as skipping class, staying out past curfew or refusing to do chores at home.

3. Tally how many times you have seen the behavior cause problems for your teenager. For example, he may have only been caught skipping class two out of five times. This does not mean the behavior is any less serious, but it demonstrates a behavior he will be more likely to engage in, since he may feel he can get away with it.

4. Write down the consequences and impact of the behavior on your teenager's present and future life. For example, in the present, skipping class can mean poor grades and detention. In the future, it can mean he won't get into the college of his choice. Demonstrating future consequences is important to help your teenager understand the impact of his behaviors on his entire life.

5. Sit down with your teenager and the list you have drawn up. Talk to your teenager about the reasons why he is engaging in detrimental behaviors. Discuss with him the impact these types of behaviors will have on his future. You may want to have other family members present during the discussion to make a bigger impact.

6. Consider removing all privileges from your teenager or restricting his use of electronic devices, such as a cell phone and computer. You may need to take serious action in order for your teenager to understand the seriousness of the problems.

Tips & Warnings

• Consider professional interventions, such as counseling, if your teenager continues to engage in negative behaviors after a family intervention, or if he is engaging in risky behaviors, such as drinking or using drugs.

References

• Parenting Today; Has Your Teen's Behavior Crossed the Line?; Dave Paltin, PhD; January 2011

Resources

• American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiartry; Your Adolescent - Conduct Disorders; 2010