How to Stop Feeling Competitive With Colleagues

See yourself as part of a team to overcome unhealthy competitive feelings.

The spirit of competition motivates people to perform better. However, an individual who constantly strives to outdo his colleagues is setting himself up for a catastrophe. Intense competitiveness causes aggressive behavior and resentment between colleagues, leading to stress at the workplace. If you find yourself feeling competitive with your colleagues, it is important to adopt measures to tone down this feeling at the earliest. Only by doing so can you work in a manner that ensures the success of the entire team.

Instructions

1. Identify the reasons for feeling competitive. Competitiveness can arise from childhood fears of insecurity when you had to always be the best to keep your parents happy. According to Dr. Phil McGraw, clinical psychologist and bestselling author, parents who focus on their child excelling at an activity rather than learning or enjoying it pass on an unhealthy spirit of competition.

2. Build healthy self-esteem. Prepare a list of your abilities and distinctive qualities. Look at this list whenever you feel the urge to compare yourself with your colleagues. Develop a healthy pride in your capabilities. Develop your specific skills in areas where you truly enjoy working.

3. Cheer your colleagues' accomplishments. Find genuine things to appreciate in your colleagues. Offer praise and compliments when speaking to them directly and when interacting with other colleagues. Appreciating others helps you to overcome the feeling that they are a threat and makes you feel more positive toward them.

4. Find opportunities to collaborate with your colleagues. Ask your supervisor to assign you to work on the same project. Focus on partnering with your colleagues to achieve the project goal. Motivational speaker Avery M. Henderson says that working to promote the organizational objectives sets up a sense of "coopetition" -- cooperation between competitors -- that is healthier than personal self-promotion.

5. Choose to be in the company of people who are contented. Pick up their attitude of finding joy in what you have rather than hankering for more. Avoid interaction with people who have a competitive streak because this fuels your feelings of competition.

References

• Mayo Clinic: How to be Happy: Tips for Cultivating Contentment
• Whoopeedoo; Overcoming Inappropriate Competition in the Workplace; Avery M. Henderson, PH.D. M.P.H.
• Dr. Phil: Competitive Parents: Are You Stepping Over the Line?
• Dr. Phil: Overcoming Your Competitive Nature
• Overcome Depression; How to Conquer Feelings of Inferiority; Ian Murnaghan; November 2010