How to Get Over Disputes Between You & a Friend

Getting past a dispute is an important ability, and it can be an acquired skill..

Resolving a conflict between you and a friend may involve you taking the first step. This first attempt at reconciliation can be the hardest one, but it can result in productive conflict resolution. The discussions you will have to get your relationship back on track may be stressful, but maintaining your friendship in the end will increase your happiness. Most friendships go through rough periods, so learning the skills to create peaceful resolutions will help you maintain healthy relationships with your friends.

Instructions

1. Give yourself and your friend time to cool off after the conflict. Avoid contacting your friend until some of the immediate anger has subsided. If you try to patch things up while the negative feelings are fresh, you may not be able to have a calm discussion without hostility interfering. Wait until you feel you can communicate with your friend in a positive way before making contact.

2. Meet your friend in person to discuss the conflict. Discussing the situation in person may be better than other forms of communication because there is less chance of miscommunication. For example, if you try to work things out through email, one of you may misunderstand the other's tone. On the phone, the tone may be clear but the body language is not evident.

3. Avoid talking to mutual friends about the situation. Though you may think this will help you clear the air, it is likely that whatever you say in the heat of the moment will get back to your friend and cause further problems. Your other friends may also feel as though you expect them to take sides, which is not helpful. Your friend may resent your involving of others, especially if your argument concerned a sensitive topic.

4. Be prepared to both forgive and apologize. Whether you are the wronged party or the cause of the argument, or a little of both, a resolution will not be possible unless you learn to graciously forgive and apologize. If you truly forgive, it means that you do not hold grudges and bring up the transgression after the matter is resolved. To apologize effectively, be sincere by fully acknowledging what you did and taking responsibility for your actions. An insincere apology can be counterproductive.

References

• Achieve Solutions: Friendly Feuds: How to Resolve Conflict Between Friends