How to Foster Sibling Unity

Encourage a happy sibling relationship.

Parents encounter many struggles when raising their children, such as dealing with sibling rivalry. Several different factors can lead to fighting between siblings, from pure jealousy to simple boredom. If you are fed up with the constant battles between your children, take the appropriate steps in order to encourage sibling unity and harmony. The more peaceful the children, the more peaceful and productive the home will be in general.

Instructions

1. Prepare a child for the birth of a sibling. Sibling rivalry often begins before a new child is even born. An older sibling may feel resentment at the prospect of a brand new child grabbing away all the love and praise. To avoid this scenario, nurture your older child before the new baby enters the world. Help him develop a rapport by talking about his upcoming baby sibling, showing him ultrasound scans of the baby and talking about what close friends they will eventually become.

2. Abstain from comparing your children to each other. One way to ensure feelings of inadequacy and jealousy is to compare your children to each other. These negative feelings can lead to hostility and the lack of unity between them. Instead of making comparisons, talk candidly to each of your children about their own specific strong and bad points, leaving the others out of the conversation.

3. Provide your children with time away from each other. As a parent, it is vital to establish a one-on-one connection with each of your children. Even if you are a busy person with a packed schedule, make a point to spend quality time with each of your children separately. Designate one afternoon for a walk around the museum with one child, and then spend the next day at the county fair with the other. Encourage your child's individuality so that she feels special, which may help her interact more harmoniously with her siblings.

4. Promote communication. When a child feels stressed out about a situation involving a sibling, avoid repressing his feelings. Provide him with the opportunity to get everything off of his chest, whether he is angry that his sibling is playing with his favorite toy or jealous that his sibling gets more attention from the grandparents. Oftentimes pure acknowledgment and listening from a parent goes a long way - and that may be all that your child needs. If your child feels that he can talk to you about how he feels, it may result in him getting along better with his sibling.

5. Encourage equality. If you notice a pattern in that your children often bicker over shared items or privileges, organize a fair system for them. For instance, if your children often fight over what dessert items you purchase for them, allow them to take turns deciding which dessert you will buy each week. To avoid forgetting who chose last, keep a list.

6. Stay out of unimportant arguments. If you notice that your children are arguing over something trivial, remain neutral and leave them to handle the situation themselves. Doing this can assist your children in solving problems alone, which in turn may help them cultivate unity and harmony. Intervene immediately, however, if you think that the argument is getting out of hand and may become violent.

Tips & Warnings

• Encourage teamwork between your fighting children. For instance, if your neighborhood community center puts together regular baseball games, place your children on the same team so they learn to cooperate and work with each other.

References

• Huffington Post; Peace Begins at Home: 6 Tips for Helping Your Kids Get Along; Charlotte Reznick, Ph.D.; May 2011
• Scholastic: 5 Ways to Promote Sibling Harmony
• Family Circle; Sibling Harmony: Help Your Kids Get Along; Peg Rosen
• Education.com; Sibling Conflicts: Tips for Prevention and Intervention; Charles Neuhoff, M.A.