How to Talk to Children About Lying

Talk to your children about lying early, and you will prevent a negative habit from forming.

There are a number of reasons why children lie, including to get attention or to avoid telling you something you don't want to hear. Many children begin lying at an early age, often creating fantastical stories that you know aren't true. It is best to nip lying in the bud as early as possible to prevent it from snowballing out of control. There are several things you can do to stop your child from lying.

Instructions

1. Listen to your child. Many people today are so busy they forget that their children need a lot of love and attention. Some children will begin spinning fanciful lies to get their parents' attention. If your child is doing this you need to make it a point to listen when your child talks and set aside time each day to converse with him about whatever it is he wants to talk about. The crazy stories will most likely subside when you start talking to your child daily.

2. Explain why lying is wrong. If your child is lying about doing her homework or chores, or who caused trouble in school, explain why it is wrong to lie about these things. Make sure your child understands that if she's causing trouble in school and then lying about it, someone else could be getting in trouble because her dishonesty.

3. Reward your child for telling the truth. Many children lie to avoid unpleasant consequences. If you ask him a question and he tells the truth even though it's going to get him in trouble, make sure you tell him how proud you are that he told the truth. Follow that up by giving him a punishment appropriate to his misdeed. While most parents hand out punishments, they often forget to praise their children for telling the truth from the start.

4. Practice what you preach. Children learn what they live, therefore, if you're lying in front of them then telling them that lying is wrong, they probably won't learn that particular lesson. You also can't expect them to lie for you, such as telling your boss you're not home when he calls, and then expect them to tell the truth all other times. Evaluate your own behavior and make sure you are not telling lies to ensure that your children learn to follow your example in being truthful.

5. Read your children stories about lying. The Bible offers several verses and stories about lying and there are also several non-religious stories that deal with lying. These stories include Pinocchio, The Boy Who Cried Wolf and The Emperor's New Clothes. After you read one of these stories to your child, ask her questions to make sure she understood the point of the story.

References

• Effective Parenting: Helping Children Who Have a Problem with Lying
• Family Education: Why Children Lie -- and How to Deal with It