How to Mentor Teens With What They Like to Do
Mentors have different experiences with teenagers, some more challenging than others. Research indicates that mentors of Big Brothers Big Sisters, a large mentoring program, helps reduce risky behaviors in children and teens. Mentors provide day-to-day role modeling as well as instruction on specific activities.
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Instructions
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Consider the time commitment and personal commitment. Ask yourself if you're ready to spend a minimum of an hour a week for at least one year. You'll do more harm than good with inattention if you're not able or willing to make the time.
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Ready yourself for the emotional commitment. Mentoring a teenager requires more than an investment of time. Be prepared to share your personal stories, strengths and weaknesses with a teenager who may not be receptive.
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Follow any agency policies when working with a child mentoring organization. Policies increase the sense of safety for the parents and their child. Procedures and policies also protect the volunteer mentor.
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Ask the teenager questions about what activities he or she likes. Listen to the entire response before asking more questions or giving input.
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Ask your protege's permission before sharing advice and giving feedback. Advice is better received when the teenager knows that it's coming. It is also part of showing the teen respect.
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Encourage the teenager to teach you how to accomplish a task related to his or her favorite activity. Teenagers often enjoy taking a leadership position with adults. This approach enhances your teen's belief in your interest in him or her.
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Admit your own weaknesses and when you don't know about an activity or component of it. Practice honesty. Teenagers test boundaries and trust in relationships. It's easy to triggering a teen's distrust and it's hard to regain trust.
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Keep an open mind. Adults often make the mistake of blowing off a teen's interests and ideas as immature or secondary to their own. Adults frequently and inadvertently send these messages to teens by not taking small steps to show active interest in the topic or conversation.
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Correct teens' mistakes in activities with care. It is better to ask what made them decide to take particular actions. Ask what they could do differently rather than telling them. Let them figure it out. This increases confidence and trust.
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Tips & Warnings
Be willing to show humility. Admitting that your humanness goes a long way with adolescents.
Avoid starting questions or sentences with the word "why." This sounds accusatory to a teen. It also requires abstract thinking. Teenagers experience difficulty answering "why" questions because their brains are just beginning to develop abstract thinking processes.
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