How to Be a Wife & a Mom
Being a wife and mother is the most important job you'll ever have. Wives and mothers are like superheroes; they have the power to heal broken hearts with a single touch, spin entertaining tales from thin air, materialize meals and make messes disappear. If you're worried whether or not you're doing it right, don't. Learn as you go, do better when you can, forgive yourself when you can't. Remember that your family doesn't want the perfect wife and mother. They want you.
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Instructions
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Be yourself. Recognize that you're still you even though you're a wife and mom. Realize that perfection is an impossibility. Understand there is no "right" way or "wrong" way to do it; only your way. Trust yourself, and know you'll know what to do when it needs doing. You don't have to have all the answers right now.
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Look at your husband and children when you talk to them. Give them your full attention.
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Show your human side. Cry, scream, laugh, play. Show your kids and your husband that its okay to feel your feelings. Explain your reasoning. If you're feeling emotional and can't stop crying, don't hide it. Say, "Mommy's feeling sad today. I can't seem to stop crying." Ask your children if they can relate. Say, "Do you ever feel sad for no reason?" Their answer might surprise you.
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Listen. Understand that your kids and your husband don't always need you to solve their problems; often they just need someone who loves them to listen. Providing a safe space for them to express themselves might help them quiet their minds enough to inspire a solution.
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Set boundaries. Realize that kids need to be told what to do. Have house rules and set consequences for breaking them. Enforce the consequences. Talk to your kids about why the rules are in place; don't let them think you're out to ruin their fun. Explain the ideals you're teaching, as well as the dangers you're helping them to avoid.
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Give your family affection. Hug and kiss your children. Wrestle with them. Tickle them. Touch your children when you talk to them. Relish in the physical presence of each other. Go on dates with your husband. Keep the fire hot. Steal away as many moments as you can with him.
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Take time for yourself. Remember the saying, "If mama's happy, everybody's happy." Take long baths, get manicures and pedicures. Spend time alone walking, meditating, breathing in and out. Know that the quality of love you give your family is directly proportionate to the quality of love you give yourself.
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Foster independence and confidence.
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Realize you can't ever get it done. There will always be more you wish you could have done or said, or not done or said. You, your husband and your children are a work in progress. Recognize there is no destination, and make a conscious decision to enjoy the journey.
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Argue above the belt. Don't say everything you think, even if its clever. There is no "winning" an argument, only degrees of loss. No matter how angry you are, remember the ultimate goal is love and understanding. Work toward the ultimate goal, not being right. Try to hold your husband's hand when you're angry; it's impossible to yell at someone while you're holding their hand. If you need to, take a walk and cool off.
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Tell your husband and kids, "I love you," every day.
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References
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