How to Set a Teen's Curfew

Make the curfew-setting process a cooperative one.

Although few teens delight in having a curfew, setting one for your teen is a must. As a parent, it is your responsibility to keep your teen safe. Ensuring his safety requires the setting of limits, one of which is the standard curfew. While nothing you can do will make your teen a curfew fan, there are things that you can do to reduce the degree to which he loathes this restriction and, as a result, make it easier to enforce.

Instructions

1. Explore curfew laws in your community. Before even tackling the topic with your teen, see what the law has to say. In some cities, legal requirements dictate that teens must be indoors during certain hours. If your community has a curfew law, set your curfew to ensure that your plan is in alignment with the law.

2. Discuss the issue with your teen, allowing her to suggest a curfew time. In this discussion, explain why you are setting a curfew. Also tell your teen that her input is appreciated but the decision is ultimately yours. When she gives you her suggested time, ask her to explain why the time she has selected is a good one.

3. Speak to your coparent about the teen's request. If the individual with whom you share parenting responsibilities was not present at this discussion, fill him in. This is a wise choice even if you and he are no longer a couple because setting matching curfews is likely the best choice for your teen. Together, decide upon a curfew time.

4. Meet with the teen again and present the decided upon curfew time. Explain that you and your parenting partner have discussed the curfew time and the decision is final, signaling to your child that arguing about the issue would be futile.

5. Create consequences for missing curfew. Although you likely hope you will never have to use these consequences, it is important to have them in place. If you don't, you likely will find yourself at a loss as to what to do if your teen does miss this hour.

6. Praise the teen for making curfew. Use positive reinforcement such as verbal praise and tangible prizes to show your teen how much you appreciate her making her curfew, and allow her to feel your gratitude for her cooperation.

References

• Education.com; Teen Curfews: How to Set Limits but Set Your Child Free; Sue Douglass Fliess
• Aspen Education Group: Determining Your Teen's Curfew