By
eHow Relationships & Family Editor
Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Things You’ll Need:
- Emergency Telephone Numbers
- Shelter Addresses And Phone Number
- Yellow Pages
- Telephones
Step1
Know that no one has the right to abuse you, physically or emotionally.
Step2
Believe that you are not responsible for the abuse and that you can find a way out.
Step3
Find out where the closest domestic violence shelter is and get yourself there. Call 911 if you are in immediate danger. In recent years, police have become more aware of domestic violence and will not take your concerns lightly.
Step4
Tell the police you want the perpetrator arrested. Press charges. Remember that it will be the town or district attorney who proves the case against him, not you.
Step5
Ask for a restraining order in criminal court. A court can issue an immediate restraining order to protect you, even before the case is tried. Or, go to family court and file a petition there for a restraining order based on the abuse.
Step6
Understand that even if you leave your home and your belongings, you have not given them up. You are entitled to a division of property if you are married. If you are not married, what's yours is yours and you can file a case in small claims court to get your things back if necessary.
Step7
Evict the perpetrator if you are living together in your own home. Even if you are renting the property, if you were the original tenant you can have him evicted. Check with your local town or landlord/tenant court to get information about procedures for eviction. If you are married, you will need to begin a divorce proceeding and have the court decide who will occupy the residence.
Step8
Do not give up your children. Even if you are the only one who is physically harmed, your children suffer emotional abuse from witnessing or being near abuse. Take them with you if you leave and file a petition for custody in family court. If you have left without your children in the course of a violent situation, pick them up from school or have a relative go to the house and get them to safety. If you are unable to do this, file a petition in family court asking for their immediate return to you. At the very least, the court will ensure that you see them regularly while the case is proceeding.
Step9
Contact your local child protection agency if your children are still with the perpetrator and are in danger.
Step10
Apply for emergency aid with your social services department. The personnel at the shelter will be able to help you with this. You can also call the department yourself and ask what help they can provide.
Comments
Smirfnscooby said
on 4/7/2008 police aren't sensitive to the issue and don't believe you... my mom's bf (second time mind you) has thrown me and had police here, and they won't make him leave because they're "no physical marks" and her bf said I hit him, when all I did was open a door to tell him to leave my mom alone.. SO MUCH FOR POLICE... oh and apparently we can't "make" him leave because he receives mail here, so even though my mom's on the lease only, we can't do anything.. ?? isn't that bull??? !!!!...
Anonymous said
on 9/15/2006 Stay strong and don't let him manipulate you into blaming yourself. Men will often try and turn the blame in order to resume control.