How to Get Over a Love Affair That Ended Badly

Don't be afraid to call your friends for help after a difficult breakup.

If your love affair ended badly, you might be blaming yourself and wishing you could get back with your lover. It is natural to feel this way because you grew accustomed to having this person in your life. Even if things weren't great in the relationship, you have come to rely on this person. Being alone again can be scary and make you feel empty and lost inside. The first thing you must do is be kind to yourself during this period and allow yourself to grieve for the love that you lost. Then you can focus on creating a new and better life. You will see: There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Instructions

1. Express your feelings. Don't hold them inside. You're hurting, and you need to let them out. Cry if you feel the need. Allow yourself to feel angry. Talk to friends and family members and tell them your feelings. To move forward, you must release the emotions inside of you. You can also get a journal and write feelings or thoughts that you don't want to share with others.

2. Make a list of the bad qualities of your ex. This helps when you are feeling low or missing your lover. Be honest and list everything that bugs you, such as he never called when he said he would. Take your time. You don't have to do this in one day. Keep this list around when you are feeling the need to call your ex-lover.

3. Get out of the house. It's often easier to curl up in bed and cry yourself to sleep every night. Fight that feeling. Call a friend. Go to a movie or a restaurant and spend an evening enjoying the world around you.

4. Find a new interest. Join a club, such as a photography club or a theater club. Engaging in new activities teaches you there is life after a breakup. You might meet new friends and start a whole new direction in your life.

5. Donate your time to a worthy cause. Volunteer at a shelter, soup kitchen or local charity. This takes your mind off your own problems and allows you to give something back to the world.

Tips & Warnings

• Take care of yourself during this difficult time. Make sure you eat, even though your stomach might be saying no. Do things that help you relax, such as taking long walks or getting a massage.

• Speak to a counselor or minister if you feel you can't get over your ex-lover. You might need extra support during this difficult time.

References

• Oprah.com: What to Do When You're Devastated After a Breakup
• Help Guide: Coping with a Breakup or Divorce
• "Ebony"; How to Survive a Disastrous Love Affair; Lynn Norment; January 1999
• "Cosmopolitan"; Get Over That Breakup in 7 Days Flat; Himika Chaudhuri