Step1
Talk to your child about the new living arrangements. Explain that mom and dad both love him or her and want the child to be comfortable at both houses. Answer any questions your child may have about the arrangements.
Step2
Ask your child what he or she would like to have in the new bedroom. Hopefully, your child will still have the bedroom at the house where all of you lived together, and only one room will need to be set up. Try, within reason, to follow your child's wishes.
Step3
Place the child's current bedroom things in the house where he or she will be spending the most amount of time. If this is a new house, doing so will make it feel like home. If the child will continue to primarily reside in the current house, then having the same things will increase his or her sense of security.
Step4
Let the parent whose house the new room is at have control over purchasing furniture and decorations, with input from the child. The other parent should not be involved unless asked.
Step5
Allow the child to move some of his or her current possessions to the new room without a fuss.
Step6
Expect your child to have mixed emotions about this situation. Anger, sadness, excitement, disappointment and nervousness are all common. Try to deal with these emotions as they come. Reassure the child that there will always be room at both houses for him or her.
Step7
Determine where most of the child's clothes will be kept and who will launder them. Make sure that some clothes are kept at the visitation house for emergencies.
Step8
Talk to your ex-spouse about setting up rules that will be followed in both homes, such as bedtime, homework requirements, etc. It is important to maintain the same rules in both homes.
Step9
Know that there will be a huge adjustment for all involved. No one will feel comfortable or happy about this, and there are bound to be mix-ups with clothes, homework and toys being left in the wrong house. Be patient with each other and with your child.
Step10
Develop a checklist of things that must travel with the child between houses - homework, lunchbox, special toys or blankets, sporting equipment, musical instruments, etc.