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Step 1
Make a list of your possessions. Make three columns: things you must have, things you would like to have but can give up if necessary, and things you do not want. Do not show this list to your spouse.
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Step 2
Talk to your spouse sometime when you can meet comfortably without distractions. Suggest that you try to divide things up yourselves.
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Step 3
Make a list with two columns - one for you and one for your spouse.
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Step 4
Go through your possessions one by one and put them in someone's column. Try not to argue or become angry when you are negotiating.
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Step 5
Make sure you get the items on your must-have list. Give up things on your list of things you don't want in order to get them. If you give up something your spouse really wants, make sure you get something in return that you really want.
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Step 6
Give up things on your "would like to have" list only after careful consideration and in exchange for something else that is important to you.
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Step 7
Try to be fair. Don't say you really must have your spouse's collection of Victorian door hinges just to be difficult.
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Step 8
Draw up a list of disputed items and then take turns picking items from the list.
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Step 9
Realize that the laws about property distribution vary greatly from state to state. In some states, everything must be divided equally; in others, it must be divided fairly. Check with an attorney or a self-help law book to find out what applies in your state.
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Step 10
Consider mediation. If you just can't agree, but don't want a judge to divide things up for you, a mediator can help you work out an agreement yourselves.
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Step 11
Make sure that your children's belongings stay with the children.
