How to Help My Son to Get Motivated About College

Helping your son figure out his true interests will motivate him about college.

Not all young people are enthusiastic at the prospect of starting college. There could be many reasons your son is hesitant, including not knowing what he wants to study, the idea of leaving his friends, fear of starting something new and different, or not being able to go to the school of his choice. Knowing how to encourage and motivate your son to continue his education is important for his future success, but pushing him too hard could backfire.

Instructions

1. Communicate openly with your son. Ask him directly why he is feeling unmotivated. Address each reason specifically.

2. Ask yourself why it is important to you that your son go to college. Define success and happiness, and consider whether your son may have different definitions of these ideas.

3. Help your son to better understand his interests. Provide opportunities for him to get career counseling and take personality and career assessments. High schools and colleges provide this type of service to students. Let your son know that it is okay if he doesn't know exactly what he wants to do with his life as long as he's taking steps to find out.

4. Include your son in school selection. Even if his choices are limited, allow him the freedom to make a final selection.

5. Research different educational paths together. Don't limit your son to community college, four-year universities or liberal arts schools. Look into other training programs such as art school, culinary school or apprenticeship programs in fields that might interest your son.

6. Look at brochures and school pamphlets on different degree options and what courses are involved. Encourage your son to read about classes that he might enjoy.

7. Explore your son's extracurricular options together. Look into clubs, athletics and student associations at each school.

8. Take a trip together to visit schools he is interested in. Take campus tours together. If the idea of college is abstract, bringing your son to campus so that he can see for himself what college could be like will get him excited about the possibilities of college life.

9. Encourage your son to sit in on a class or do an overnight campus stay, which most schools offer to give potential students a taste of how fun college can be.

10. Encourage your son to be more independent. Begin regarding him and treating him as an adult. Gradually loosen rules, and allow him to make some of his own decisions.

11. Let him do his own research on colleges. The information he finds for himself will be more valuable than any information you give him.

12. Let someone else take over if you feel he thinks you are pushing him too hard. Let him take campus tours with a friend or another parent.

13. Let your son know you expect him to contribute financially to his education. Help him get a summer job, plan financially for his first year, and make a budget.

14. Take him shopping for new school clothes, dorm room accessories and school supplies. Don't bribe him with these items, but use the experience to get him to plan for his first year and grasp the reality of it.

15. Look into financial aid options together including scholarships, grants and loans. If finances are limiting his choices, get him to take control and find a way to make his real dream come true.

16. Explore alternatives. What will he do if he doesn't go to school? Allow him to try his hand at having a job for a semester, or to start slowly by taking a class or two at a community college.

Tips & Warnings

• Take campus tours during the week during the school year so that your son can get a feel for what real college life is like.

• Listen to your son's objections. If he is hesitant about moving away from home, look into nearby options.

• If your son doesn't feel right at a school, keep looking. All schools have a different feel, student body and atmosphere. The right one is out there.

• Never force your child to continue his education against his will, threaten him or give him an ultimatum. These methods could backfire if he fails to succeed at college.

References

• Drive: 9 Ways to Motivate Your Kids to Achieve; Janine Walker Caffrey; 2008
• Getting the Best Out of College: A Professor, a Dean, & a Student Tell You How to Maximize Your Experience; Peter Feaver et al.; 2008