How to Make the Best of Sibling Rivalry

Try to allow siblings to work out problems themselves when you can.

Humor is the most effective way to make the best of sibling rivalry. This rivalry is common in every family that has more than one child. Brothers and sisters usually love one another more than they are willing to admit. They will often fight and quarrel, but the minute someone outside of the family picks on them, they will be the first to come to one another's defense. Parents find it difficult not to become stressed while this common rivalry is going on. Keeping humor at the center of their thoughts will make the best of sibling rivalry.

Instructions

Mimic

1. Mimic the children while they are arguing. Pretend to be one of them. Play fight with them to copy their actions.

2. Make exaggerated faces at them to copycat the looks they are giving each other. Speak in a whiny voice. Mimic their voices. Get loud when they get loud and they will usually stop yelling due to their shock at your funny behavior.

3. 

   Wrestling is a fun way to redirect negative attention into something positive.

   Be silly. Above all else, be as silly as you can be with them. Try to make them laugh. Rib tickle them. Throw a fake, soft punch to them. Hug them and squeeze them tight so they know you love them even though you are clearly trying to make them stop fighting.

Time Out Notebook

1. 

   Time out notebooks should never be used for anything else.

   Purchase a special notebook for each child. Use it only for time-out writing sessions. Pull it out when the sibling rivalry begins.

2. Separate the children. Stabilize the situation and calm the children down. Ignore any pouting or remaining hostility in the room. Speak calmly but firmly, capturing the children's attention.

3. Explain that they are required to write quietly for a total of 20 minutes in their notebooks (time may be less for younger children, longer for older ones). Write a question for them to answer and write about.

4. Come up with questions such as, "Why is it important to tell each other we love you? Why is hitting each other a bad idea? What is your favorite thing about your brother or sister?" The answers and thoughts they write about will be fun to read later.

5. Do not criticize what they write. Do not share what they write with their siblings. It is between you and them. Let them know this. Allow them to vent in their notebooks. They should not be in trouble for saying negative things (within reason). This allows them to work through their feelings.

References

• One Place: 10 Ideas: Overcoming Sibling Rivalry
• Success Is Mine Online; How To Deal With Sibling Rivalry; Lisa Simonelli Rennie
• Ask Dr. Sears: Using Humor For Discipline

Resources

• Sprout For Parents: Overcoming Sibling Rivalry