How to Talk to Teenagers Who Lost a Loved One

Seemingly minor gestures can mean a lot to grieving teenagers.

Losing a loved one is hard for everyone, including teenagers. Nobody grieves the same way, so attempting to comfort a teenager who has lost a loved one can be a difficult task. You may be afraid about saying the wrong thing, causing her to feel worse. While you can't bring the deceased person back, you can talk to the teenager. If you know a teenager who has lost a loved one, there are several things you can say to comfort her.

Instructions

1. Tell the teenager that you are sorry for his loss. Put your arm around him and tell him that it is perfectly normal for him to feel upset. Let him know that you are here for him whenever he needs to talk. Do not tell him you know how he feels or that everything will be all right.

2. Listen to the teenager as she speaks about her loss. Listen attentively by looking her in the eye and sitting close to her. Allow her to say whatever she needs to say, and do not interject until she is finished speaking.

3. Do not make the teen feel ashamed about grieving by telling him not to cry or to be strong. According to Victor Parachin, these closed statements do not allow room for further discussion. Instead, ask him questions about his relationship with the deceased person or how his family is doing. Asking these questions allows him to express his feelings instead of keeping them bottled up.

4. Encourage the teen to join a support group. In a support group, she can share her feelings with others who have lost a loved one. They may also offer her advice on how to cope with the pain. Knowing there are others who have lost a loved one may help her feelings of loneliness.

References

• KidsGrowth.com: How to Help the Grieving Teenager; Victor Parachin
• HelpGuide.org: Supporting a Grieving Person