How to Say "Forgive Me" in Japanese

The Japanese bow when they ask for forgiveness.

The Japanese attitude toward apology can be mysterious to Americans. In Japanese culture, polite interaction often involves humbling yourself or lowering yourself on the social scale before someone else. By doing so, you raise that person higher. There are many phrases and forms for apologies in Japanese, each of which is designed for a particular circumstance or degree of humility. The phrase "forgive me," accompanied by a bow, is used for simple apologies and for turning down an offer.

Instructions

1. Stand with your feet together and your hands at your sides. Keeping your back straight, bow to a 45-degree angle. Look at the floor, and hold this position for about three seconds.

2. Say "gomen nasai" while you bow if you are addressing someone formally. Say only "gomen" if you are talking to someone you know well or the apology is more casual.

3. Use the more formal phrase for anyone older than you, people you do not know well and people above you in a chain of command. Use the casual phrase for close friends, people younger than you and when making very minor apologies.

References

• Learn Japanese: Sorry
• Tofugu; Bowing in Japan; Koichi; July 2010
• University of Rhode Island; Sorry We Apologize So Much...; Naomi Sugimoto

Resources

• BBC News; Toyota Bows and the Japanese Art of Apology; Jeff Kingston; February 2010