How to Determine if Saving the Relationship With Your Wife Is Worth It

Figure out whether you can save your marriage, and whether it's worth it to you.

Among the serious problems in a marriage that can lead to separation or divorce are infidelity and severe monetary woes. If you are experiencing a crisis in your marriage and do not know which way to turn, you need to take a long, hard look at your relationship. Only you can determine whether you want to fight to save your marriage, or whether you and your wife would be best served by calling it quits and moving on with your lives.

Instructions

1. Decide whether being with your wife makes you happy. Despite all the fighting and stress, take a step back and think clearly about your relationship. Can you envision working things out as a couple? If you have more positive thoughts about her than negative, then you probably should fight for your marriage.

2. Ask yourself if you can get over the past. Marriages are full of ups and downs. Maybe you resent that your wife doesn't stand up to her nagging mother. Or perhaps you harbor hostility because she had an affair. Are you willing to work with your wife and resolve your differences? If you do not deep-down believe that you can get over whatever upsets you, it may be best for both of you to move on.

3. Look long and hard at outside sources of friction. Strong relationships can be tested by tough and unusual circumstances. Are you going through a rough patch or are you simply incompatible? If you and your wife do not get along or make each other happy, then maybe your problems can't be fixed.

4. Compare your wife's goals, dreams, hobbies, ambitions and values with yours. Marriage is supposed to be forever; is this someone you want to be with for the rest of your life?

5. Consider whether your wife supports you. A strong marriage is not supposed to be only about the good times. Anyone can get along when things are easy. If you can count on your wife to always be there to support, comfort, help and encourage you during stress and hardship, then your relationship is probably worth saving. If your wife understands you and can connect with you in even difficult circumstances, there is hope for your marriage.

6. Take a look at your comfort level. If you can talk openly and honestly to your wife without fear of judgment or mocking, then you should work hard to save your relationship.

Tips & Warnings

• Sometimes a marriage is just not meant to be, even after you have both given your everything. Be honest with yourself and figure out whether staying together is wasting your time and draining you both of all energy, vitality and happiness.

References

• Psychology Today: Is My Marriage Worth Saving?
• Focus on the Family: Is My Marriage Worth Saving?
• Shine from Yahoo!: Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?
• Boston.com: Is This Relationship Worth Saving?