How to Set Limits with a Borderline Personality Mother
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness that can be quite serious. People with BPD suffer from wild mood swings, problems with maintaining relationships, a poor self-image and difficulty controlling their behavior. It can be particularly trying if your mother suffers from BPD as people who suffer from the disorder often cannot maintain a stable family or professional life. Although it is difficult, you must establish strict limits with your mother in order to live your own life.
Instructions
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Do not spend time alone with your mother. Do not accept gifts as an element of expectation will be attached to them.
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Set limits so your mother's emotional troubles or concerns are not interfering with your life. Be firm and clear about your boundaries. For example, if your mother calls you late at night, tell her you will no longer field her calls at that time.
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Continually express your awareness of your mother's feelings while setting up limits. Repeat that you understand her needs and validate her feelings, but do not let them take over your life.
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Talk to your partner or friends if you feel like you are slipping with your boundaries. They can help support you when you are feeling guilty or uncertain about your boundaries.
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5
Put yourself first and stick to the boundaries and limits you set for your mother despite her insistence to cross the line.
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