Dating a Muslim

Dating a Muslim means leaving judgment behind.

Dating outside your religious beliefs can be difficult. If you already have firm religious convictions, dating someone of another religion can cause conflict, tension and stress for you, your partner and both your families. However, it is not an impossible situation. With an open mind and with appreciation for other religious beliefs, it is possible to date someone of another religion. If your partner is Muslim and you are not, there are ways to conduct yourself so that you, he and his family feels valued, respected and accepted.

Instructions

1. 

   Find out why being a Muslim is important to your partner.

   Ask questions of your date or partner. Was she born into a Muslim family? What does he value most about the Muslim religion? What challenges does the religion pose? How is dating handled within the family -- especially when dating a non-Muslim? Find out your date's dedication to her religion so you get a sense of how your life will be in marriage. Hear the pros and cons of the Muslim religion and determine if you could embrace this religion in marriage.

2. 

   Muslim books and articles give a greater understanding of the religion.

   Familiarize yourself with the Muslim religion. If you find that your partner is serious about her religion, make it your business to learn about it. This does not mean you, too, must become Muslim, it simply is a way for the two of you to connect and talk about something that is important to one of you. Read books and articles on dating a Muslim and discover the meanings behind Muslim traditions and rules.

3. 

   More than just the two of you might be on your dates.

   Expect resistance within a community, family or friendships. Some people will have a difficult time accepting a non-Muslim into their circle and other people, such as family members, will be adamant about not wanting the two of you to date. Talk to your partner about the stress this puts on her. Learn to accept that other people may be unhappy with your relationship and talk to your partner about the consequences this will have. Familiarize yourself with the facts about Muslim dating. Important Muslim values include no sexual relations before marriage and including the family on dates.

4. 

   Strive for peace and your partner will be happy.

   Show respect for his Muslim traditions, family, friends and community members at all times. This will be difficult if the same respect is not shown to you. Smile, show interest and be kind when in the presence of his people. Help others to accept you by being loving and open in their presence. Your partner will appreciate your understanding and you will know that, other than not sharing the same religious beliefs, there is no other reason for the family to shun you. Be careful not to create other problems as a result of the family's lack of support. In time, the family may change their mind, but not if you have created other problems in your relationship.

5. 

   Seek help from a third, unbiased party.

   Speak to a professional who can help you navigate your feelings. Whether it be your own religious leader or a relationship therapist, reach out to others and talk about your challenges. This will help you understand your feelings, the Muslim family's values and the dynamic in your dating relationship.

Tips & Warnings

• Speak to other people who have dated a Muslim. Get their perspective and see if there is anything you can learn.

• Avoid gossiping about your partner's family, friends and religion.

• Do not convert to the Muslim religion to make others happy. If it comes to this, decide on your own if the Muslim belief system will enrich your life.

References

• Today's Dating; Muslim Dating; April 2010
• Adherents.com: Muslim Dating-The Truth Behind Dating
• Darkness to Light; Interfaith Dating; Gary F. Zeolla