How to Learn to Please Your Mate
Long-term relationships and marriage are all about meeting each other's needs. When one or both partners do not feel that their needs are being met, the relationship may be in jeopardy. Typically, people have emotional, social, physical and spiritual needs. Married partners look to their mates for affirmation, validation, security, companionship and for both emotional and physical intimacy. You will learn how to please your mate when you learn what his needs are and make a habit of meeting those needs.
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Instructions
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Reassure your partner that you are not interested in anyone else and that you are totally committed to him on a long-term basis. You will not have a happy mate if he is always questioning your fidelity. Avoid doing anything that might make your mate question your faithfulness, like having a private lunch with a co-worker who is the same gender as your partner or flirting with others or keeping email passwords from him.
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Learn your spouse's love language. In other words, ask her how you can demonstrate how much you love her. Some people might like flowers or poems, but others might enjoy holding hands in public or cuddling on the couch while watching TV. You will please your partner if you show her that you care in the specific ways she wants and appreciates, such as offering encouraging words or listening to her intently.
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Develop emotional intimacy with your spouse. Emotional intimacy is essential in a relationship in order for your mate to feel close to you. This means it is important to open up to each other and share personal thoughts and feelings such as dreams, fears and aspirations. Take time on a regular basis to find out what is going in with your partner. People can change over time, so if you have been married for many years, ask your mate personal questions to really get to know him all over again.
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Develop effective communication skills to please your mate, to reduce conflict and to increase your emotional bond. Avoid being critical or nagging your partner. Commit to talking through problems together, calmly and maturely. Present any issue from both of your perspectives and work on solutions together. Always aim for win-win resolutions. Be willing to compromise and try to see things from your partner's point of view.
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Please your mate in the bedroom by finding out what turns her on and what turns her off. Ask your partner to tell you what she enjoys and how to make certain moves so you are aware of what to try and what not to try. Find out if she likes to try new things or would prefer the familiar. Women need emotional security and physical foreplay to really enjoy sexual relations.
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Tips & Warnings
When you are not able to resolve conflicts or develop emotional intimacy with your partner, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Couples can attend marriage seminar weekends and participate in couples counseling in person, by telephone and even by email.
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