How to Handle Confrontations in Relationships

Conflict can escalate into confrontation if not resolved.

Conflicts can arise in relationships because of poor communication and external sources of stress. Because conflict can be damaging to a relationship, it is essential to develop tools to manage confrontation and avoid escalating conflicts. Setting groundwork for good communication and a culture of compromise within a relationship prevents and ameliorates conflict. Active listening and an attitude of understanding are essential tools for resolving conflict. When confrontation arises, seek creative solutions to resolve the conflict and prevent future confrontations.

Instructions

1. Create a groundwork for healthy communication as a means to avoid confrontation. Have an honest discussion with your partner about her lifestyle preferences and needs. Strive to establish an environment in which both parties feel comfortable making requests and suggesting modifications to the relationship without confrontation. Discuss the balance between honoring personal preferences and maintaining a harmonious, united relationship. Developing a culture of compromise in relationships leads to easier conflict resolution during future confrontations.

2. Develop a knowledge of your partner's communication style and personality. If your partner is an introvert, he may require extra time alone following work or social engagements. Highly organized individuals can feel stressed without a detailed schedule or when events vary from a plan. Understanding your partner's personal preferences and communication styles aids in both preventing and resolving confrontation and conflict. Nonconfrontational individuals should be encouraged to air concerns early to avoid escalating conflict.

3. Acknowledge your partner's frustrations and listen carefully to her requests when confrontations arise. Put yourself in her shoes, and imagine her position and the source of the frustration. Even if you feel she is overreacting, it is important to listen carefully and understand the source of her frustration. Confrontations often arise when a party feels her requests or preferences have been ignored. An understanding attitude is a valuable tool in preventing conflict and reaching a reasonable solution.

4. Offer a solution to resolve the issue and avoid similar confrontations in the future. Healthy relationships require creative compromise on an ongoing basis. Suggest modifications to your own behavior, schedule or activities that will support your partner's need. If you are unsure how you can support his request, ask for suggestions. If it is difficult to reach a solution, take a break from the conversation and resume when both parties are calmer and better able to reach a reasonable solution.

References

• John Thurman: Fair Fighting: Conflict Resolution in Marriage
• Focus on the Family: Strategies for Effective Conflict Resolution
• Focus on the Family: Talking About Sensitive Issues
• My Family Minute: Are you Listening?!