How to Avoid Fights With Your Husband

Remember not to accuse or attack your husband when marital issues arise.

Arguments are bound to arise in even the strongest of marriages, but working through problems does not have to result in an all-out shouting match. If you want to avoid fights with your husband, there are ways to transform traditional arguments into healthy discussions. Talking without attacking, listening to his side and responding with love will help keep fights to a minimum and create more intimacy in your marriage.

Instructions

1. Discuss without attacking. When an issue arises, sit down with your husband and talk about it. Do not start a sentence with "You always" or "You never." Refrain from judgment and criticism. For instance, if your husband tends to leave his dirty laundry all over the floor for you to retrieve, your instinct may be to call him a slob, which could lead to an argument. Instead, let him know that you would appreciate if he would pitch in around the house so you could spend more time together. Together, come up with a list of household chores you could split evenly.

2. Listen to his side. Avoid doing all the talking because talking does not allow you to hear your husband's point of view. Do not attempt to guess what he is thinking as men and women think differently and often communicate in opposite ways. When he expresses himself during a discussion about a marital issue, repeat back to him what you are hearing to verify that you understand his intended message. Ask him to do the same to you to eliminate the miscommunication that leads to arguments.

3. Think before you speak. Avoid saying every word that pops into your head, particularly any word that could hurt. Filter your comments when you are confronting your husband about a problem in the marriage. Be honest, but refrain from saying negative things that you can not take back. Remind yourself to pause a couple of seconds before responding. Respond in love. Remember he is the man you loved enough to marry and he is not your enemy.

4. Know when to walk away. When a conversation with your husband begins to turn heated, take a break. Walk around the block, cool down and then reconnect when you are calmer. If it is getting late, throw out the old advice about not going to bed angry. It is sometimes wise to end the discussion and sleep on it, then revisit the matter the next day.

5. Remember to laugh. Sometimes it is easier to laugh instead of getting all worked up over little things. Focus on what is important, choose your battles wisely and laugh about the small problems. In many cases, a good laugh and a hug are the cure for the common marital fight.

References

• Rescue Marriage Now: How to Stop Marriage Fighting - Before it's Too Late!
• WebMD: How to Stop Fighting: Tips for Married Couples
• WebMD: 7 Relationship Problems and How To Solve Them
• My Dear Child.com: Tips for Communicating in Marriage