How to Deal With a Passive Aggressive Team Member

A passive-aggressive individual seems calm on the outside even though he is angry or manipulative on the inside.

Passive-aggressive personalities are often difficult to handle. An individual with this disorder deals with his anger and negative views in a passive instead of outward way. Such an individual often refuses to do something he is supposed to do, and make excuses for not completing tasks. This trait in particular makes passive-aggressive individuals difficult to work with in a team setting. Several approaches exist for handling passive-aggressive individuals, all of which make the working experience an easier process.

Instructions

1. Refuse to acknowledge the passive-aggressive person's behavior. Do not play his game, and always clearly express all concerns and anger outwardly, not masking them. When in a confrontation, a passive-aggressive person does not know how to appropriately respond to conflict and generally denies everything. To avoid butting heads, do not try to do this in return; it only makes the situation worse.

2. Talk to the passive-aggressive individual in a straightforward manner at all times. Always stick to the facts at hand when talking to him, and always let him know how his actions are making you feel. Always express anger and concerns in an upfront manner, as a passive-aggressive person is more likely to respond in honestly when approached in a straightforward manner.

3. Confront dishonesty when it is spotted. This is important, although it sometimes causes confrontation that makes a passive-aggressive person uncomfortable. Not confronting the passive-aggressive behavior only reinforces passive-aggressive actions. Confront the person immediately and kindly let her know that you are confused by her behavior. This way, she is more likely to refrain from acting in a passive-aggressive manner.

4. Never let poor behavior slide; it only makes working on a team more difficult by fostering an environment where such behavior is accepted. Don't let the passive-aggressive team member get away with bad behavior in an attempt to avoid confrontation. Try to create an atmosphere where individuals feel comfortable sharing all feelings. Encourage everyone in the group to be open. If the passive-aggressive individual doesn't feel like he needs to mask his anger, he is less likely to display poor behavior.

5. Never feel guilty about a person's passive-aggressive behavior. Team members sometimes feel as though the work environment encourages such behavior, but no one is ever to blame for a person's passive-aggressive personality disorder.

Tips & Warnings

• Always try to encourage a passive-aggressive individual to discuss feelings openly. The more encouraged he is to be honest with team members, the less likely he is to disguise feelings of anger.

References

• Dr. Phil: How to Spot and Deal With Passive-Aggressives