How to Get the Excitement Back Into a Marriage

Make your marriage exciting by making travel plans.

Married couples sometimes fall into the same old routine. Excitement, including new experiences and a passionate sex life, may be lacking in your marriage. Luckily, you can inject newness into your relationship. Just as you got into bad habits and let your relationship fall by the wayside, you can get into good habits and carve out time for you and your spouse.

Difficulty:

Moderate

Instructions

1. Realize that a stagnant relationship isn't necessarily a bad one. If your marriage has gotten a bit boring, at least it hasn't been full of fighting and dramatics. Look at this stage as a rut, not a mountain that cannot be scaled.

2. Talk to each other about what is bothering you. Both outside stressors and problems within the relationship could greatly affect how the two of you spend your time together. Talking and listening to each other makes you feel immediately closer.

3. Spend time together, both alone and with other people. It's great to keep an active social life even when you're married, but you also need to put your spouse at the top of your priority list. Even time spent hanging out, cooking dinner and watching a movie will feel exciting to both of you if it's something you haven't done in a long time.

4. Choose activities that you've wanted to do for a long time but haven't had the chance to yet. Make sure that you both want to engage in the same activities, or that you're both at least open to trying something new. Write a list that includes everything from traveling across country to cooking Sunday brunch together for your extended family -- anything that will be fun and new in your relationship.

5. Find the time to have sex on a regular basis. If you don't have sex regularly, your sex life will continue to dwindle. To do this, you may have to compromise other areas of your life, such as your work or letting your children sleep in bed with you.

Tips & Warnings

• Pay attention to the way you and your spouse talk to each other. Being snippy, mean and short is a warning sign that your relationship is suffering. One or both of you may be frustrated with the state of your marriage.

• If you and your spouse do not acknowledge that your marriage needs some spice, specifically in the bedroom, you two may continue to grow apart. This could lead to divorce, but this is preventable, as long as you start maintaining your relationship sooner rather than later.

References

• Dr. Phil: Putting Passion Back Into Your Relationship
• "Good Housekeeping": Are You Spouses Or Just Roommates?
• Whole Family: Passion