How to Get Teenagers to Respect Parents

To earn your teen's respect, it is important for you to return the courtesy.

As a parent, you may be stressed about your teen's behavior. She may seem to dismiss or disagree with your rules and values. What you may not realize, however, is that this apparent lack of respect is a natural part of growing up. As children become teenagers, they begin forming their own identities, opinions and values that may not coincide with those of their parents. You may be used to the same control you had when your teen was a child. In turn, your teenager may feel oppressed or disrespected. The key here is that respect cannot be forced; it must be earned.

Instructions

1. Be firm, but fair. Obviously, rules and boundaries need to be established for the way your teen can behave. However, this goes both ways. Using force, such as threats, name-calling, physical abuse or "Bible thumping" will make your teenager feel disrespected. In turn, he will show little respect to you.

2. Explain that you are showing her respect. Teens will often claim to be disrespected every time they do not get what they want from their parents. When this happens, you need to clarify how you are being respectful to your teenager. For example, point out that you have not raised your voice or threatened to ground her.

3. Address the attitude. Usually, disrespectful behavior is triggered by some kind of issue. Tell your teen how he is being disrespectful and how he can approach the argument in a more civil way to get his point across.

4. Let her have an opinion. Never try to oppress your teen by dismissing her opinions or threatening her to agree with you. Teens are old enough to have their own beliefs and views, including when it comes to arguments. The key is to allow your teen to disagree but still respect your decisions. This is also an important way to prepare her for the real world, because adults are also forced to do things that they don't want to do from time to time.

5. Prepare yourself to be seen as the enemy. Since you cannot force a teen to respect you, you have to be able to cope with his disrespectful attitude. You can always seek support from people like your spouse, your family, a counselor or a minister.

6. Stand by your decisions, regardless of the backlash. You have to do what is right, not what is easy. Your teen will not respect you as an authority figure if you give her what she wants just to avoid a confrontation.

References

• Teens Health: Why Do I Fight With My Parents So Much?
• Troubledwith: Communication Problems