How to Dissolve Friendships

Sometimes friendships just need to end.

As painful and difficult as it may be to admit, sometimes a friendship simply needs to end. If you feel that you are in a toxic friendship that is marred by whatever problem, whether it is jealousy, different values in life or just growing apart, it might be wise to consider dissolving it and moving on. Learn how to delicately and maturely break up from a friend.

Instructions

1. Analyze your friendship before taking action. Ending a friendship is a major decision. Avoid being hasty and take your time in thinking over you decision. Make sure that dissolving the friendship is what you would honestly like to do. Thoroughly examine all of the benefits and negatives of your friendship with this person. Objectively think about your situation and determine whether or not your feelings are true or whether they are heightened in the heat of the moment.

2. Do not delay the inevitable. Once you are certain that you wish to "break up" with your friend, reach out to contact her. Promptness is essential, otherwise you may fall into a comfort zone of ignoring the situation rather than going ahead with it.

3. Call her and tell her that you want to speak to her face-to-face. (It can come across as insensitive and tactless to do this over the phone or e-mail.) Aim for meeting up in a neutral spot (such as a restaurant) or at your friend's home, as long as it is private (you want to avoid an embarrassing situation if emotions start running high). Make sure that you have enough time to discuss everything in detail -- you do not want to do something this important in rushed circumstances.

4. Display directness. In order to avoid confusion, be very direct, concise and clear about why you wish to terminate the friendship. Detail exactly why you think the friendship needs to end so there is absolutely no ambiguity. Make your feelings known, whether you tell your friend that you are both growing apart or that you do not like the way he treats you in general. Avoid excuses and say what needs to be said.

5. Stay calm. The more emotional you are, the harder this process will be. Avoid making accusatory statements, and try to be as neutral and factual as possible. The more calm and cool you are, the less likely it is that tempers will get out of control.

6. Be as kind possible. As hard as it may be to come across as nice in this kind of situation, try to abstain from making hurtful or mean comments. Just because your friendship is ending doesn't mean that you have to be a jerk. Try to be as clear about your feelings as necessary without resorting to insults or name-calling.

Tips & Warnings

• Be firm. If you truly are committed to your decision about ending the friendship for good, do not allow your friend to pressure you into caving. If a friend is toxic to you, do not allow him or her to talk you into getting back into a situation that is making you unhappy.

References

• Being Girl: How to End a Friendship
• Shine from Yahoo!: How to End a Friendship
• Today: 5 Tips to Break Off a Friendship
• Marie Claire: How to End a Friendship