How to Live With an Elderly Mother
The decision to move your elderly mother into your home is often difficult. You must decide whether the decision is the best option, how much care she needs and how the move will affect your family. Living with the elderly is not always easy. Patience is tested, frustrations rise to the surface and, at times, the decision may seem like a huge mistake. However, nursing homes and elder care facilities are not always an appealing option. These facilities are often expensive, and children of the elderly often feel guilty putting their parents into a home. While living with your elderly mother will not always be easy, there are ways to make the moving and living transition easier on everyone involved.
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Instructions
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Talk with your family. Often, there are other people involved in living with an elderly mother. Children, husbands and wives are all involved. Be honest with them about your mother's health and why she is coming to live with the family. Explain any health problems and medications she must take. Answer as many questions as possible for children. With teenagers, come up with a plan, so that at least one person is home at all times with your mother.
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Talk with your mother's doctors. Be available for her appointments, so that you can ask any questions you might have in person. Ask about any changes to her medications. Keep track of your mother's health at each doctor visit to ensure that she is receiving the proper health care.
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Stay alert. Not all elderly mothers who live with their children have health problems. However, keeping yourself aware of potential health problems is key to ensuring that your mother is healthy and happy. Observe her behavior if you feel that she is acting uncharacteristically. Keep a list of concerning behaviors, and notify a doctor if you see an alarming pattern.
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Set up rules. Often when an elderly mother comes to live with one of her children, the roles are reversed. The children end up caring for the parent in much the same way as the parent used to care for the child. Set up rules to ensure the safety of your mother. For example, setting up rules such as what times she can drive or whether she is allowed to drive at all not only keeps your mother safe, but also keeps others safe.
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Get her out of the house. Signing your mother up for social activities is an ideal way to ensure that she has social interaction with people her own age. Choose activities that your mother is capable of doing mentally and physically. Signing her up for activities also allows you time for yourself.
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Talk to your mother. Always keep the lines of communication open. Talking to your mother gives you a better understanding of what is going on in her life. Finding out how she feels and paying attention to her make the transition into living with you easier. Keeping communication open also gives her the chance to talk about how she feels physically, which keeps you abreast of health-related situations.
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Be realistic about the help your mother needs. While moving your mother in with you may seem like an ideal situation for her mentally and physically, you need to look at the overall situation realistically. If she needs around-the-clock care, and you cannot provide her with that, then you should choose another plan of action.
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Tips & Warnings
Always keep a list of numbers near the telephone. Numbers such as 911 and work numbers must be readily available to your mother in case of an emergency.
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