How to Break Up With a Scary Boyfriend
Breaking up is rarely easy, but if your boyfriend is scary that makes it even more difficult. For your own safety and security, however, breaking up is an important step to make. Frightening, abusive behaviors usually only get worse over time. Even if he has not hit you yet, if you feel threatened by him, you need to make that step to break the relationship off. It can happen to anyone, there is no need to feel ashamed -- but you do need to take extra precautions before and during the breakup.
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Instructions
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Tell friends and trusted family members about the situation and that you plan on breaking up with him. This is important for your security. This way if he calls or otherwise harasses you, they will understand what is going on and may be able to help prevent him from reaching you.
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Tell him by phone or email, rather than in person, if you feel he may become aggressive. Have people around when you do it to support you, and to also act as witnesses to his behavior.
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Keep all emails, text messages, voice messages, or other messages he may leave. This evidence will be helpful in case he won't leave you alone and you need to get a restraining order.
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Be clear with him that you are breaking up but avoid being confrontational, especially if he is prone to a bad temper or seems mentally unstable.
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Change all of your passwords he may have acquired during the relationship. This may be passwords to email or social networking sites.
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Tips & Warnings
After you have broken up with him, seek counseling with a therapist who specializes in abusive relationships. Abuse can take many forms -- sexual, emotional, or physical. A good therapist will help you recognize abusive patterns and this may help you heal emotionally.
If you do not have a friend or family member you trust to support you during this time, call your local women's shelter. The phone number should be listed in your local phone book. They can give advice and connect you with a support system.
