How to Get Your Toddler to Not Be Clingy
Clingy toddler behavior can be exasperating. Your once happy baby now refuses to let you go to the bathroom alone, screams when you try to leave him at daycare and runs away from Grandma. But even though this behavior may frustrate you, it's actually a sign that your toddler has developed a strong attachment to you. He feels anxious when you leave his sight because you provide security for him as he explores his world. As exhausting as you may find this stage, your toddler will eventually grow out of it. In the meantime, responding correctly to your child's clingy behavior can help both you and your child.
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Instructions
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Acknowledge your toddler's fears. Say, "That dog's loud bark sounded scary, didn't it?" or "You miss me when I have to leave you at the babysitter's." Recognizing your toddler's emotions helps her to feel like you understand her.
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Reassure him that in spite of his fears, everything is okay. Point out that the dog is behind a fence or remind him that you will always come and pick him up again. Pediatrician Dr. William Sears found that playing a video for his young daughter that included the song "Mama Comes Back" helped alleviate her fears during a period when she became anxious and unhappy whenever her mother left her.
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Remain calm when your toddler becomes clingy. She learns how to react to new situations by watching how you react. If someone she doesn't know -- such as a relative or her pediatrician -- frightens her, reassure her that this new person is safe. Smile at the person, introduce him to your toddler and tell her how nice he is. If a loud noise startles her, say in a relaxed tone, "Oh, that was a noisy firetruck. The firemen must be going to help someone."
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Practice separating from your child by making a game out of it. Psychotherapist Sandra Dye recommends playing a game where you tie a long string of yarn around your waist and your toddler's waist to connect both of you. Have him walk around a wall so you can't see each other, and then follow after a moment. Laugh and act excited when you see him again. Gradually extend the time before you reappear and the distance between you. Eventually you can cut the yarn or remove it entirely. By turning separation into a fun game, you teach your toddler that you will always return.
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Praise your toddler when she doesn't cling. Let her know how proud you are when she plays happily with her toys while you go to the bathroom. Tell her what a big girl she is when she gives you a hug and kiss goodbye without crying.
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Give your toddler a favorite item or other transitional object that reminds him of you. A special blanket or stuffed animal or a piece of clothing, such as a scarf, that smells like you can help comfort your toddler when you have to be apart.
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Tips & Warnings
Never sneak off without saying goodbye when leaving your toddler with a babysitter or at daycare. This can make her even more clingy, since she may fear that at any time you could disappear without warning.
References
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