How to Talk to Your Husband About Wanting a Baby at Age 41

Spending time around babies may encourage efforts to conceive.

The desire to bear children is a powerful impulse that combines love, affection and the capacity to nurture. Conversely, the absence of children for reasons not of choice can be a painful source of conflict in a marriage. If you are a woman in her early forties and you are wondering how to speak to your husband about trying to conceive a child, your best approach will combine honesty, realism and patience.

Instructions

1. Set the tone by telling your husband that you want to talk about your family. Use the language of togetherness rather than focusing on your needs as an individual. Try to be invitational and respectful, rather than insistent and demanding. Focus on the qualities you see in him that would make him a good father.

2. Acknowledge the potential obstacles to conceiving a child. Be prepared with some information about fertility treatments, and let your husband know you are open to seeing a fertility specialist to get an expert's opinion. Raise the subject of changes to your lifestyle as a couple, and try to be honest about your fears and anxieties. Discuss financial concerns, including possible costs of conceiving.

3. Give your husband time to think it over. Although you may be feeling the urgency of your biological clock ticking, it's likely that your husband will need some time to do his own research and adjust to the possibility of becoming a father. Let him know that you are willing to wait for him to give it some thought and also to lend him whatever support he needs to make that decision.

References

• What Do Men Really Think; How to Convince Your Man to Have a Baby; Iva Dragostinova; September 2010
• The Jewish Woman; Husband Doesn't Want Children; Sara Esther Crispe