Dating a Platonic Friend

Consider the pros and cons before dating your friend.

Dating one of your platonic friends is just about as risky as going to the casinos in Vegas; if you consider what suits you best, you may come back winning a thing or two. If not, you're likely to lose quite more than you wanted, but you can at least say you gave it a try and had a good time. If you and your platonic friend are contemplating taking a chance at a relationship, there's plenty to consider.

Instructions

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

1. Consider just how much you both value the friendship. If you two hang out in the same circle, maybe have always wondered what it would be like and are great communicators, giving it a shot might be worth the try. One cool thing to think about is if you have a successful relationship, it could be a blast as you two know and feel quite comfortable with each other already. However, if you're so close that your lives would change greatly without each other around, think about what happens if the relationship doesn't make it. It's hard to bounce back from a breakup and become friends again. With a relationship under your belt, the breakup will inevitably result in things will never really being the same again.

2. Make a slow transition into your coursthip when you both give each other the green light on giving a few dates a chance. There's no need to be planning your retirement funds together and naming your grandchildren. Use caution and continue to do some of the same activities you did as part of the same group. Neither of you should feel awkward while you're dating, although at first it is natural if you do. Instead you should feel as if dating is an extension of your friendship. Here's the time when you can spruce up your look and be more appealing when you do go out so that your friend can start to see you in another light. If you've spent most of your time together in t-shirts and sneakers, what a surprise it will be to see how nice you look when you dress up.

3. Go on dates instead of hanging out. Do things together that are more romantic or provide a bit of intimacy and togetherness. Ditch going to your local bar and grill for date night and instead try out that hot new restaurant uptown or cook dinner together. Ask more personal questions to get to know each other in ways that you may not have before as friends. Sure, you know how many siblings and crazy uncles are between the two of you, but now's the time to wonder what makes your friend happy and what type of relationship is ideal.

4. Handle a breakup, if there is one. Ouch, a break-up of any type can be devastating. In your case, you may find that you've lost one of your best friends and your mate. Try if at all possible to work things out to at least attempt to be friends again. Understand that things may be hard to adjust to at first, but if you find it's worth it to keep each other around, a stab at maintaining a friendship is for the best. Give each other some space to heel from the split and to adjust to your new schedules. Tell your friends to respect your decisions and not bring up the topic. Communicate with your friend when you're ready and try to focus solely on getting to a place where you two can be cordial again in hopes of regaining a friendship.

References

• eHarmony: Is Dating A Friend A Good Idea
• Dating Support Center: Tips For A Dating A Friend