How to Get Past a Hurtful Relationship

Getting over a broken heart is similar to the grieving process.

When a hurtful relationship comes to an end, it can be surprisingly hard to get past the hurt, get relief from the lifted burden of the harmful relationship, and move on toward a brighter future. No matter what type of relationship it might have been, a romance, a friendship or a working relationship, coping with the ending can be difficult. Learn to move on, to get rid of the stress and sadness of the separation, and learn from the experience for improved future relationships.

Instructions

1. Get in touch with your feelings and recognize that it is OK to feel sad, angry, exhausted, stressed, frustrated, confused and anxious. It is normal to have these emotions and the first step toward moving on is to acknowledge these feelings and let yourself live them. With patience, these feelings will lessen over time. Allowing yourself to live these emotions can be scary, and the fear that the feelings will be too hard to handle is also normal. Remind yourself that going through the pain of grief is what will allow you to move on to better things.

2. Reach out to your friends and family. Spend quality time with people who energize you and surround yourself with positive friends who have strong listening skills. Share your feelings with them. If you do not feel at ease of discussing the situation with people you know, join a support group or consult a therapist. Talking to other people about the situation and your emotions will help lower your stress level, increase your concentration levels, and allow you to get back to yourself faster.

3. Take care of your physical self. The emotional stress of a difficult separation can have major physical impacts. You can become more vulnerable to viruses and illnesses like the flu. Get plenty of rest, eat a healthy and balanced diet, and get physically fit. Make time each day for an activity that will help you lower your stress, such as talking a walk in your favorite park, going to a relaxing yoga class, or reading a good book while enjoying a hot bath.

4. Join a social network and make new friends. You can join a special interest club, take a class about your favorite hobby, or do volunteer work in your community. You might feel like being home alone, but surrounding yourself with people will help you feel like yourself again.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not make any major decisions such as moving to a new city or changing jobs in the first few months after a breakup. Take a time out and wait until you are less emotional to make a sound decisions.

• Do not use alcohol, drugs, or food to cope with your feelings. You may be tempted to do anything to relieve the feelings that emerge from the end of a hurtful relationship, but using mind-altering substances is unhealthy and can be destructive in the long run.

References

• HelpGuide.org: Coping With a Breakup or Divorce