How to Give a Four-Year-Old the Can-Do Attitude
At preschool age, four year-olds and other toddlers are still learning about the world, how to live and how to act. According to the National Network for Child Care, four year-old children commonly ask "Why?" and are curious about how to do things. They also have the capacity to learn many new concepts and skills.
You can give your four year-old child the "can-do" attitude by teaching him lessons about persistence, confidence, success, failure, effort and hard work.
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Instructions
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Think out loud as you make decisions, work on a project or attempt to reach a goal so your child can experience your thought process and see how and why you are motivated. Explain what you are doing and answer any questions he has as to why you are doing what you're doing. Children tend to learn about the world and how to act -- such as how to have a positive personality and be responsible - through watching their parents and copying them.
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Pay attention to what seems to motivate your child and mirror that back to them. For example, if your child volunteers to do household chores in order to get money or special treats, take note of this. Reflect this fact back to your child to help them become more self-aware of what motivates them (i.e. doing hard work results in getting money or rewarded). This will help your child get a hold on the "can-do attitude" which he can use when performing tasks and pursuing goals throughout his life.
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Praise your child in everything he does. If he is learning to count or read, cheer him on. Give your child positive feedback even if he attempts to do something and doesn't succeed or if he plays a sport and loses. Tell him "You did great today," "We're so proud you gave it your all" or "You'll win next time" to keep up his confidence level and to instill in him a sense of resiliency and accomplishment.
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Tell your child how much you love him and demonstrate your love by showing him affection, such as through hugs and kisses. If your child knows he has a loving, caring support system he will be more inclined to try to succeed at things. Conversely, never purposely ridicule, belittle or cut your child off from love and affection because he failed or was unsuccessful at doing something. This will send a message to your child that you will only love him if he is a success.
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Tell your child stories about how you overcame and obstacle and prevailed or how your hard work and practice paid off in the past. In addition, read him stories like "The Little Engine That Could" which teaches lessons about persistence, putting forth effort and hard work. You can refer back to such stories at times when your child has self-doubt or is feeling unmotivated (i.e. "Remember what the Little Engine That Could said? 'I think I can!'").
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References
- National Network for Child Care: "Ages & Stages - Four Year-Olds"; Lesia Oesterreich; 1995
- GreenwichSchools.org: Teaching Children Behaviors that Build a Can-Do Attitude
- TeachKidsHow.com: How to Teach Your Child About Motivation
- GreatSchools.org: Teaching young kids persistence
- KellyBear.com: "Motivating Children"; Leah Davies; 2004
- Photo Credit Brand X Pictures/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images
