How to Get an Obsessed Boyfriend to Back Off

Sometimes romantic gestures are not welcome.

It is possible to have too much of a good thing, and attention from the opposite sex is definitely one of those things. You meet a guy, he's pretty cute and kind of funny, he buys you dinner, he calls you, and calls you and calls you until you can't stand it anymore. The problem can be solved. Following a few tips may help you get rid of the pesky beau.

Instructions

1. 

   A man is not an emoticon.

   Tell him how you really feel. Don't be afraid to be honest; you owe it to yourself to express your feelings fully. Tell him clearly and directly that you do not want the relationship to continue and you want him to stop contacting you. It is best to do this in person or at least over the phone. Relating the information by text message or email is cold.

2. 

   Telling him to "get lost" is cruel.

   Speak to him nicely. You can be to-the-point without being cruel. Speaking to him in an insulting manner will only escalate the situation and create animosity. Chances are good that he means well and is just a dork. If you crush his emotions or feelings, at least spare his ego. If he speaks to you inappropriately, however, end the conversation right away.

3. 

   Tune it out however you can.

   Cut off all communication with him after you tell him the relationship is over. Do not send mixed signals by attempting to be "just friends." Do not respond to his phone calls, text messages, emails or even pokes on social network websites.

4. Resist showing sympathy. He may tell you how much you mean to him and how he would do anything for you, and he may even cry. Tell him you're sorry and that you wish him the best, but do not allow his anguish to draw you back into a relationship that makes you unhappy. He will get over you.

5. 

   Staying occupied helps.

   Keep yourself busy. Focus on completing tasks and engaging in activities you find fulfilling. It will distract you from stress or guilt you may feel. If he learns about your activities through mutual friends or other means, it will help him realize you moved on.

6. 

   If at first you don't succeed, be more insistant.

   Remind him that his attention is unwanted if he continues to contact you. This time around, be more stern. If he continues to pursue you, warn him that you will take action to stop the situation.

Tips & Warnings

• Some obsessed boyfriends or ex-boyfriends are well-intentioned. Others, however, may be unstable and unpredictable. If you feel harassed or think you may be in an unsafe situation, or he threatens to hurt himself or someone else, contact law enforcement authorities immediately.

References

• Tyra: How to Dump the "Nice Guy"; Aug. 28, 2008
• Stalking Behavior: Homepage
• The Breakup Survivor: How to Break Up With a Guy