How to Tell Your Muslim Dad You're Dating a Non-Muslim

A parent-child relationship is difficult to navigate but most fathers have unconditional love for their children.

Dating is generally frowned upon in Muslim culture and the few times it is allowed is when it is more like courtship. Since courtship is allowed because it is a prelude to marriage, it is unlikely that a father will approve of a non-Muslim in-law, especially if the person involved is his daughter. This is because it is considered haram (forbidden) in Islam for a Muslim girl to marry a non-Muslim. A man is allowed to marry a non-Muslim woman; however, it is generally not the preference of most Muslim parents.

Instructions

1. Talk to other family members first who might be supportive of your decision. Their supportive will give you more courage to speak to your father.

2. Confer with other family members regarding the personality of that father and the best method to approach him with the news.

3. Talk to your local Imam (Muslim priest) about your situation. If your father prefers a particular local Imam, approach that Imam. The Imam's job is to not take sides, but to help communication between the family members. Ask your Imam if he will facilitate the conversation between you and your father when you tell him the news.

4. Tell your dad that you want to talk to him about a sensitive topic and you would like the Imam to present. Set up a time for all three of you to meet. If you would like supportive family members to be present, invite them.

5. Prepare talking points that will appeal to your father. This depends on his personality and what he values. If he values love, consider talking about how he/she makes you feel. If he is more logical, bring up logical points that prove the relationship is beneficial. Consider mentioning the possibility that the boy/girlfriend could convert to Islam. Try to mention your partner's good qualities that resemble what qualities a Muslim should have.

6. Meet with the Imam, your father, family members if relevant and tell him the news. Do not become emotional and be prepared for the rest. Appeal to the father-child unconditional love bond and, hopefully, he will calm down.

Tips & Warnings

• If he is very religious, he might retaliate by kicking you out of the house or disowning you. Be prepared for the worst.

References

• Scholar of the House: On Christian Men marrying Muslim Women
• Islamic Articles: Dating
• Islam Dating: Moslem Dating Site
• Luton Muslims: Teaching your Child about Islam