How to Convey Trustworthiness to a Passive-Aggressive
Passive-aggressive people tend to be high-strung, critical and often have difficulty with their own self-image or self-esteem. When you're trying to build trust with passive-aggressive people, it's important to remember that they often won't express their anger directly. If they are angry, they may act out by not fulfilling responsibilities or by taking on extra work and then complaining about it. The key to building trust with passive-aggressive people is maintaining a healthy perspective on their behavior, knowing that the behavior is a result of their personal difficulties with anger and communication.
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Instructions
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Express a willingness to listen to their point of view. Passive-aggressive people can be negative and demanding, and they often have problems interacting with others. By offering to listen without judgment, you can show passive-aggressive people that you're willing to be fair and that you have empathy regarding their experiences. Empathy can be critical because passive-aggressive people are likely struggling, feeling insecure or misunderstood.
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Avoid angry or confrontational interactions. When passive-aggressive people blame or criticize you, make an extra effort not to react in anger. Many times people with these behavior patterns will provoke a feeling of anger that is intended to cause conflict and create distance between people. Make every effort to react calmly and consistently. These actions will show that you cannot be easily alienated by their behaviors. Over time, they are more likely to trust your reactions.
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Focus on positive feedback. Giving a passive-aggressive person positive feedback can help improve their self-concept and may encourage a sense of trust. You she be honest and sincere and avoid giving false compliments. Concentrate on identify the persons true strengths and remind them often that you view these strengths in a positive light. If they do something helpful or positive take the time to thank them in a meaningful way. Criticizing a passive-aggressive person before you have established trust can create some difficult communications barriers because they may react very defensively.
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Hold firm boundaries with passive aggressive people. Avoid participating in their negative talk or gossip. If you are firm and fair about issues, they are likely to view you as unbiased and, therefore, more trustworthy. Holding firm boundaries will also ensure that you do not become overwhelmed by their problems or negativity. The key is to listen and offer your support without getting too emotionally involved in their issues.
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Tips & Warnings
Use the following example as a guide:
A husband and wife are struggling with communication, and the husband is behaving passive-aggressively. He feels there is an unequal distribution of chores in their household, but instead of discussing it, he simply stops following through on his chores. One day, he announces that he does not plan to mow the lawn. The wife should approach this by asking him to sit down and talk. Ask him sincerely, "Why don't you want to mow the lawn? Is something bothering you?" He may respond with "I have to do everything, and I'm sick of it." Instead of reacting to this passive-aggressive comment, the wife should control her frustration and ask, "Do you think we should rewrite our chore lists and consider if they are fairly distributed?" The husband may stonewall the conversation, and it may take several attempts to resolve the issue, but being open and not reacting with anger will convey trustworthiness that may eventually improve the situation.
If interactions with a passive-aggressive person become too difficult, you should consider seeking professional counseling for support.
References
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