How to Deal With a Rude Child
Children are rude as a result of a lack of self control and negative modeling of thinking and speaking habits from their caregivers. It can be difficult to deal with a child who consistently displays rude behavior, but it's not impossible. Through regular practice and modeling of strategies to foster positive communication and teach self control, you begin to shift the way the child understands communication and relates to others.
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Instructions
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Decide what you want the outcome of the conversation to be before you approach the child. Doing so ensures that each conversation you have is purposeful. With a singular purpose, you can communicate more effectively and keep focused. For example, if you are trying to ask the child to cook dinner, keep that singular focus during your conversation. Presenting the child with simple and concrete directions and instruction will bring clarity into communication.
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Demonstrate positive communication with kind and polite words and expressions in each interaction with the child. Children who are rude have often learned it from someone who modeled that behavior for them. Challenge yourself to be as polite as possible in all situations. Use this opportunity to show the child what it sounds like to be kind and polite all the time.
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Encourage time out and reflection by giving a child quiet time if he needs it. This teaches him that it is better to spend time alone than to speak negatively to others. You can encourage him to reflect on a more positive way to communicate his needs by placing such materials as books and posters in the quiet space to guide him back to positive communication.
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Become an active compassionate listener. All children are seeking love and attention. When the child speaks to you, imagine that your heart is opening and listening to the child. This moves your focus to listening to the child with your heart. This practice will help you to listen and respond from an authentically kind and compassionate place.
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Use "I" statements, which are ways of expressing your feelings without attacking or blaming. They help to facilitate positive communication and problem solving. An "I" statement has three main parts: "I feel," "when you" and "I want." For example, you could say, "I feel hurt when you are rude to me. I want to learn what I can do to help you feel better."
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Tips & Warnings
Always let all other adult members of the child's life know that you are working on positive communication techniques. A group effort can help to show a child she is loved and provide an authentic motivator for change.
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