How to Move on After Abuse

Physical and emotional abuse occurs in many relationships.

Whether the abuse you have suffered is from a parent, spouse or relative, ending the relationship with your abuser takes a great deal of courage. According to Steven Stosny of Psychology Today, physical, emotional and verbal abuse cause drastic damage to an individual's self esteem. It is essential for victims of abuse to avoid isolation and to seek psychological counseling and support from friends and loved ones.

Instructions

1. File a restraining order against your abuser. Let your employer, friends and relatives know that a restraining order is in effect so that they can look out for your best interests. Contact law enforcement immediately if your abuser violates the terms of the restraining order.

2. Live with relatives or close friends until you are ready to move out on your own. Let them know the details of your situation and allow them to support you in any way you need. Get additional support from your church or spiritual organization.

3. Join an abuse recovery group. Contact your local law enforcement agency or health department for a list of groups in your community. Attend meetings regularly for support in rebuilding your strength and confidence.

4. Cease all contact with your abuser. Do not accept phone calls or arrange private visits. Change your telephone numbers, if possible. Contact your county court to arrange custody and visitation if there are children involved.

5. Make new friends. Avoid isolating yourself during this transitional period. Regain pleasure in your life by engaging in activities that you enjoy with people that have similar interests as you. Enroll in a class, take up a new hobby or join an club.

6. Join a health spa or gym and attend regularly to maintain your physical health. Eat healthy foods and get plenty of rest. As your body starts to change and your physical health improves, you will feel better emotionally.

Tips & Warnings

• If there were children present during the abuse, arrange counseling for them and include them in some of your counseling sessions.

• If you cannot move, change your locks and deadbolt your doors to prevent unplanned visits from your abuser.

References

• Psychology Today; Effects of Emotional Abuse: It Hurts When I Love; Steven Stosny; August 2008
• Heart 2 Heart: Deciding to Leave
• University of Oregon: Abusive Relationships
• New Life After Divorce: Recovery after an Abusive Relationship

Resources

• Women's Resource Center: After Leaving the Abusive Relationship
• Love Letter Box; Moving On After an Abusive Relationship; Terry Hernon MacDonald