How to Set Boundaries With Clingy Friends

Let your friend know that you have a life outside the friendship.

A clingy friend can be a real downer. She may want to know your every move, show up when she isn't invited, and call and text you until you are ready to scream. A clingy friend is a needy person who may have low self esteem and no other friends but you. She may be hard to deal with and therefore has driven everyone else away. However you are responsible for your own happiness, so take a break from your clingy friend if needed.

Instructions

1. Talk to your friend and be honest with her. Tell her that you've been feeling a little suffocated and you need some space. Tell her you care about her and don't want to hurt her feelings, but you may need to have a little bit of time away from the friendship or simply time spent by yourself.

2. Stop answering the phone every time your clingy friend calls. Let him know you have a life and you are busy, and you may not be able to respond to every text message and phone call. If you stop responding to his every call, he may learn to contact you less. Tell him when good times to talk are, such as after dinner or midmorning when you have a few minutes to chat.

3. Encourage your needy friend to pursue other friends and interests outside of your friendship. Remind her about other people she doesn't hang out with as much, or even family members. Tell her how much she you think she would enjoy yoga or bike riding; maybe if she pursues her own hobbies, she'll have less time to cling to you and yours.

4. Make plans with him and stick to them. If you are supposed to have coffee on Thursday, don't let him ambush you on Tuesday with something unscheduled when you have other things to do. Let him know you are busy but you would be glad to spend time with him on the day you had plans.

5. Enjoy your life. It is not your job to assuage your clingy friend's self esteem and indulge her neediness. Take time for other friendships, dating and time with family members. Pursue your own interests and eventually either the friendship will return to a healthy level, or you may have to make a difficult decision and dissolve the friendship.

References

• Teen Vogue: My Best Friend Is Too Clingy