How Do I Get Past the Sadness of a Breakup?

Move past the sadness of the breakup with positive life changes.

Ending a relationship is a painful experience that most adults have been through. You may feel lost, hurt, angry, jealous or depressed. These are all normal feelings. It is important to remember that although you feel hurt now, you will feel better with the passage of time and the right attitude. Making positive changes will help you heal.

Instructions

1. Let your feelings come out. It's OK to feel sad at the loss. Don't stifle your feelings. It's not healthy and will only prolong the healing process. Let yourself cry. If you don't feel comfortable crying with others, find a private space --- perhaps before you go to bed or in the shower. If it helps, talk to loved ones about your loss. Alternatively, meditate or write in a journal.

2. Remember the good things about yourself. Don't kick yourself around. The relationship failed, not you. If you are having a hard time remembering your good qualities, have a friend help you.

3. Accept the breakup. Once you have given yourself time to grieve, get up and stop moping around all day. This will just make you feel worse.

4. Get rid of all things that remind you of your ex. This includes gifts, pictures, souvenirs and music. If you can't throw it all away, put it in a place where you won't see it every day. When you're feeling better you may want keep some of those mementos. Don't contact your ex and don't reflect on the good times in your relationship. Your job now is focusing on the future. Thinking about your ex will just hurt you more.

5. Take care of yourself. Don't let the depression run your life. Get enough sleep, eat well and exercise. Changing your look could elevate your self-esteem and help you start anew. Get a haircut or buy new clothes.

6. Do things you enjoy. Watch a movie, go out to eat, go dancing. This will keep your mind off the negative feelings.

7. Stay busy. Volunteer to work extra hours. Find a new hobby, such as playing an instrument, learning a new language, playing a sport or reading more books. Work through your sadness as you accomplish other things.

8. Work on improving yourself. Make a wish list of all the things you would like to accomplish, such as getting in shape, getting that promotion you have been wanting or simply being a better person. You will start feeling better about yourself.

9. Be around supportive people. Hang out with friends and family members you didn't see often during your relationship. Do something fun with them.

10. Date, but don't jump into a new relationship. This will reinforce your self-worth. People are interested in you. This isn't the end.

11. Know that this is the start of a new direction in your life. Life goes on, and so can you. You will be loved again. Give it time. Sometimes people think the sadness will never go away, but with every passing day you will feel better

Tips & Warnings

• If you are feeling severely depressed or having thoughts of suicide, seek counseling.

References

• Help Guide: Coping with a Break-up or Divorce
• Teens Health: Getting Over a Break-up
• Get My Ex Back Quick: Coping with the Pain and Sadness After a Break Up; 2011