How to Win Back a Family

It may be initially very challenging to win back your family.

There may be several reasons you are trying to win back your family. Perhaps you neglected your children from hours of working overtime as they were growing up, or maybe you cheated on your wife for the second time and cannot win back her trust. Whatever the case, time and genuine effort on your part will assist you in winning back the love of your family. It may seem difficult, intimidating or even impossible, but with effort and determination, you can win back your family for good.

Instructions

1. Determine your desires and write them down. Before you go about the task of trying to win back your family, decide what exactly you want and write it down before you begin the process. Do you wish your children would react to you with love instead of a scowl every time you walk in the room? Do you desire the love and trust of your wife? Whatever it is you want, write it down and keep the goal in mind as you begin your journey of winning back your family.

2. Do little things for each family member. Doing small, considerate things for everyone in your family will help you win them back. This is even more effective if you do not announce that you are the one doing these things. Do a thorough cleaning of the house when the family is away, but don't let anyone know. If your son or daughter needs something, go out of your way to get it for him or her.

3. Balance your work schedule to spend time at home. This may be one of the reasons you are trying to win your family back in the first place: neglect. Be deliberate about working a certain amount of time every day and then no more. Make sure that you are home for dinner and that you help with the clean-up. Balancing your life will demonstrate to your family that you have your priorities in order and that they are at the top of the list.

4. Listen instead of criticizing. If anyone in your family begins to argue with you, take the gentle approach and do not argue back. If you are tempted to criticize, decide to listen patiently instead. Doing this takes an enormous amount of patience and love, and you will be viewed with respect if you can hold your tongue and listen to what your family members are saying.

5. Openly and patiently seek togetherness. After you have done things around the house, have listened without arguing and have balanced your work schedule, you need to openly express your desire for togetherness with the family once again. Explain that you are feeling distanced from them and that you want to be closer than you have been in a long time. Being honest about what you want is a good idea, but it may be difficult for them to believe you if they have not seen your actions first.

References

• Heart Relationships: Mending the Family Estrangement
• Dr. Phil: Fixing Your Family Feud
• Biblical Counsel: Mending Family Differences

Resources

• Parents Connect: Repair Relationships: Family Relationship Challenge #4