How to Get Your Husband to Stop Being so Cheap

A cheap husband may not realize how cheap he's being.

The difference between cheap and frugal may depend on which side of the bank book you stand. If you live with a husband whose tight-fisted ways have you ready to take drastic measures, step away from the kitchen knives and take a deep breath. Instead of fuming, take action to curb the cheapness and come up with a spending plan on which you can both agree.

Instructions

1. Talk about the attitudes your family had toward money and how this influenced you. Your husband may be cheap because he was raised this way or because he grew up poor and is afraid of being poor again. Backgrounds influence how people deal with money issues. Discovering why your husband is cheap may help you understand him better and may open his eyes to the reasons behind his behavior.

2. Ask your husband to define his monetary goals. Maybe he's holding onto the money so tightly because he wants to pay off the house or retire at 50. Knowing his goals can help you see things his way. It can also help him gain perspective. If his goal is early retirement, you may be able to help him see that rationing the grocery money or buying bald tires isn't really going to help him get there.

3. Keep track of everything you both buy for two weeks. This will help you see where your money is really going. Sometimes people are cheap in one area while wasting money in another. You may be able to spot areas where you can save, freeing up more money in areas that are important to you.

4. Make a list of all the ways you think he's being cheap. You can do this at the same time you're tracking spending. In making the list, you may see some things that on paper aren't really so cheap or that aren't worth arguing about. If he chooses to re-use tea bags, the only person he really affects is himself, so you may decide that's an area where you can keep quiet. However, if he routinely swipes all the sugar packets from the table in restaurants, you can point out that this is stealing. You may not be able to change his behavior, but seeing everything written down in black and white may shock him into making some changes.

5. Sit down together and draw up a budget. Include an allowance for each of you in this budget. The money in your allowance is yours to spend as you please, with no say from your husband. If you want to spend your allowance on manicures, he can't say anything about it. If he wants to save his entire allowance every week, he is free to do so.

Tips & Warnings

• A professional counselor may be able to help you.

References

• Brigham Young University; Escaping the Debt Trap; Janene Wolsey Baadsgaard; August 1996
• "Your Money or Your Life"; Joseph Dominguez and Vicki Robin; 1999