How to Teach a Teen to Use Self-Control

Talk to your teen to get him to learn self-control.

Teenagers experience a wide range of emotions, many of which can seem overwhelming and hard to control. They want to experience and experiment with numerous aspects of life, from learning to drive to navigating the world of dating. Self-control often takes a back seat to something new and exciting; however, if you consistently talk to your teenager and lecture less and listen more, you will be able to instill in him a sense of self-control.

Instructions

1. Lead by example, by pointing out a situation where you had to use self-control. Teenagers learn well by example, and if you can show them that even as an adult, you encounter moments where self-control is important, they might respect what you even more. It shows them that self-control is important throughout life.

2. Encourage your teen to talk to you when presented with a situation that requires self-control. If you admonish him every time he talks to you or lecture too much, he won't do it. Work on listening when he brings a problem to you, no matter how difficult. Don't make decisions for him; instead, talk about how he can resolve the issue while still staying in control of it. This will make it easier to talk to you with future issues, as well.

3. Remind him of the consequences of losing control. For example, if you teen is going to a party, where other kids may be drinking, remind him that a lack of self-control can lead to bigger problems, including drunk driving that could harm himself or his friends. He could also end up arrested for underage drinking; these kinds of big potential consequences remind your teen of the importance of self control.

4. Take away privileges when your teen does not exercise self-control. If he ends up drinking at the party anyway, remind him that there are consequences to self-control and take the keys away and ground him for a certain period of time. If his lack of control manifests in the form of anger, take away another privilege until he learns to control his temper.

References

• Kids Health: Teaching Your Children Self-Control