How to Build Personal Values in Kids
As a parent, your kids' personal values are your responsibility, and within your hands lies the task of shaping them into the adults that you want them to become. Begin when they are young by instilling specific values in them and encouraging them to live up to your high expectations. Watch them grow into their ideals and regularly encourage or discourage activities to foster good intentions and discourage bad ones. Your goal should be to raise children who not only live up to your personal values, but also learn how to create their own.
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Instructions
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Determine which values you wish your kids to learn by selecting specific ideals from each of these categories: personal, social, cultural and work. List the ideals from each category that you intend to instill. For instance, under work values you may decide to foster dedication, excellence, personal responsibility and a personal feeling of success.
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Make a plan for how you intend to teach each value by grouping similar values and creating events that allow you to show your kids how to approach each and a list of ways for you to represent those values as a role-model to your kids. As an example, you may decide that dedication is an ideal that belongs in each category, so plan events, chores to build personal responsibility and experiences for your children that teaches them to never give up, such as charity work by your side, and let them demonstrate that value to you. Add fundamental things such as good manners or showing respect to act as a gateway for character building. Include multiple values when appropriate, such as finishing chores in a timely manner and to your expectations constitutes a show of dedication, excellence and a personal feeling of success.
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Reward them for their success by giving them access to additional freedoms around your home and by showing your appreciation for their values. For instance, when your kids show their dedication by finishing a project or completing a chore up to your expectations, reward them with a family game or by letting them choose a movie for your family to watch that evening.
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Discipline your kids when they fail to live up to the values you are teaching by removing freedoms or allowances as appropriate to their mistake. Instruct them on what they did wrong and make sure that they understand why it is important to live up to their values. As an example, if your children leave a chore unfinished, punish them by restricting them to your home for the day and explain the value of hard work and dedication.
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Listen to your children when they have an objection to a particular chore or activity, but focus on their reasons for objecting. Determine if your children are making their own value judgments by assessing the validity and purpose of their objections. For instance, if your children refuse to take out the trash when you tell them but explain that they are not finished cleaning, your children have begun making value decisions on their own and your teaching has been a success.
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References
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