How to Help With Parent-Child Separation

Young children often have trouble leaving their primary caregiver.

Over the course of a child's life, he may become separated from his parents for various reasons, including going to daycare while the parents work, attending school or visiting one parent or the other if his parents are no longer together. Regardless of the reason your child cannot be with you, there are things you can do to help ease his apprehension. A child needs to learn how to handle a separation from his parents to succeed in school.

Instructions

1. Talk to your child about the separation before it occurs, but do not address it too far in advance. The younger the child is, the longer you should wait. Explain to him that you are going to go away but will be back to get him soon. Talk to him about all the fun he will have while you are away. Make it sound exciting.

2. Start out leaving your child for a short period of time with someone who is close to her. For instance, leaver her with your husband while you go to the grocery store for an hour. If she does OK with this, leave her with a grandparent while you and your husband go on a date.

3. Bring someone into your home to watch your child if you can. If he is in familiar surroundings, he is less likely to feel the effects of the separation. If this is not possible, take him to observe the location in which he will be while you are gone to get him familiar with the surroundings.

4. Give her something small to help her remember you while you are gone, such as a photograph of you or a small stuffed animal that you have kissed.

5. Create a goodbye routine that you do each time you must leave him with someone else. Give him a kiss and a hug and remind him of when you will return. Always do the same thing so he learns what to expect.

6. Avoid making a big deal out of leaving. If your child cannot handle a goodbye routine, leave while she is distracted with a toy or movie. If she can handle it, go through your routine and then promptly leave without stretching out your goodbye. Showing confidence causes her less stress than if she thinks you are hesitant to leave her.

7. Keep his caregiver the same if you can. Find someone you prefer to watch your child and stick with that person. Your child needs to be familiar with his caregiver and be comfortable. Children are resilient, but they require consistency to feel safe.

References

• Kids Health: Separation Anxiety
• Help Guide: Separation Anxiety in Children