How to Live With My Husband While Separating
On the road to divorce -- or perhaps in an attempt to rebuild their faltering relationships -- some couples go through periods of separation. While many choose to live in different places during these separations, others can not, due to financial reasons, or simply choose not to. Though living with your husband while in the midst of a separation does present some obvious challenges, it is something that you can do with the setting of some ground rules and a commitment on the parts of both members of the marriage to follow these mutually agreed-upon decrees.
Other People Are Reading
Instructions
-
-
1
Discuss the situation candidly. If you and your husband don't communicate, the situation will be even more difficult than it needs to be. Sit down with your spouse and have a frank discussion about your separation, discussing the reasons why you have decided to separate and what this separation means to both of you, as well as what you hope the results of the separation will be. By engaging in this clear and mature communication instead of dancing around the issue, you can increase your chances of success as you try to cohabitate while separated.
-
2
Set boundaries. The boundaries, or lack thereof, that you had during your married life will be decidedly different now that you are separated. For example, you may not want your husband to come into the bathroom while you shower, or you may not want him listening in on your phone calls. Make these boundaries clear, discussing them with your husband so that these new relationship rules don't come as a surprise to him when you try to enforce them.
-
-
3
Create separate space. While you and your spouse will be living under one roof, you don't necessarily have to be right on top of each other. If your house is large enough to do so, create some division in your space. As an important first step, move your husband into a separate bedroom, as not sleeping together is of paramount importance during a separation. For relaxation space, turn a spare room into a den of sorts for your husband to occupy, keeping the family room as a space for you alone. While you don't have to stay out of your husband's space completely, and vice versa, having these separate spaces allows you to get the space that you may each require.
-
4
Deal with issues that arise immediately. If any of the problems that plagued you and your husband as a married couple start to present a challenge again, tackle them, particularly if you hope to ultimately reconcile. For example, if you find that you and your husband are bickering about things like household cleanliness, despite the fact that you are separated, confront the issue so as not to make your living-together situation uncomfortable for either party.
-
1
References
- Photo Credit Pixland/Pixland/Getty Images
